Where I want to be right now:

Under the covers )

What I have to do instead:

The Eraser (Calculus Blues) )
Working on my political science homework, I was answering a discussion question about the history of American journalism and when I was mentioning how the advent of television came with both benefits and dangers for politicians, I was reminded of a rant Dennis Miller did years ago.

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I used to love Dennis Miller. Then, I don't know what happened. I'm sure the obvious assumption is the change in his politics but I don't think that's it--I'm entertained (intentionally) by people with opposing views all the time. Hell, even when he used to express opinions I disagreed with, he'd do it in a clever way. It's like, he just stopped trying to be funny. I just watched a "rant" he did on O'Reilly (oh, brother) concerning James Carville, and I was 3/4 through it before I realized that I hadn't laughed once. Not only were the ad hominem attacks weird and seemingly shoehorned in, the only funny line was one he wrote years ago. (James Carville *does* look like a muppet that's been accidentally washed on hot. It's just a fact.) Or take this fairly recent "quip":

"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."

Bahaha...wha? That's like, sitcom with laugh track funny. I watched a fairly recent standup special of his and some of it was great. Despite his best efforts, I still have residual affection for Bill Clinton but still, I smiled when Miller said that if Bill were any more lowrent, he'd be a spring break destination. But it just seemed to lose steam (and funny) after that. It's weird. He went from being the witty guy who could effortlessly toss out lines with more bite than an entelodont to that close talker in front of you in the bank line who turns meaningless chitchat into a increasingly heated rant about lady politicians and what else is wrong with the world today as you "uh-huh" your way closer to the door.

'Course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Anywho, I was thinking of a bit he did in which he mentioned James Stockdale. Stockdale, for those of you who don't know, was a candidate for vice-president in 1992. Years before that, he was in the military. During Vietnam, he was on a mission when he had to eject from his A-4E Skyhawk and when he reached the ground, he was captured and taken to Hoa Lo, which would later become known as the Hanoi Hilton. (Two years after his capture, John McCain's Skyhawk would be shot down, leading to his capture and imprisonment.) Stockdale spent seven years at Hoa Lo, undergoing routine torture. When he returned to the United States, he began teaching at colleges, and wrote several books about his life.

However, despite all that, most people probably know him best for the debate. From ye olde wiki: Stockdale was not informed that he would be participating in the October 13 vice-presidential debate held in Atlanta, Georgia, until a week before the event. He had no formal preparation for the debate, unlike his opponents Al Gore and Dan Quayle. Stockdale infamously opened the debate by saying, "Who am I? Why am I here?" Initially, the rhetorical questions drew applause from the audience, seeming to be a good-natured acknowledgment of his relatively unknown status and lack of traditional qualifications. However, his unfocused style for the rest of the debate (including asking the moderator to repeat one question because he didn't have his hearing aid turned on) made him appear confused and almost disoriented. Seven years later, he would tell Jim Lehrer, "It was terribly frustrating because I remember I started with, 'Who am I? Why am I here?' and I never got back to that because there was never an opportunity for me to explain my life to people."

And perhaps my favorite summation of that debate was by Dennis Miller, if only for that damning last line.

"The reason he had to turn his hearing aid on at that debate is because those fucking animals knocked his eardrums out when he wouldn’t spill his guts. He teaches philosophy at Stanford University; he’s a brilliant, sensitive, courageous man. And yet he committed the one unpardonable sin in our culture: he was bad on television."

As reason.com says, "Dennis Miller put it pretty well, back when Dennis Miller put things pretty well."

Hey, I'm not the only one wondering what the eff. (And as the comments there show, the quality of his past work is certainly debateable, but I'm more concerned with what happened. "There is no joy left in his perspective. There is no sparkle of lightness or pleasure in his eye. It is only dryness and lashing out and death." Yes, this.)
wolfpangs: (bammer)
I go to Calhoun for school, which I'm not sure I've mentioned here by name. It's a community college but it's huge for one. (Here's a picture I took as I was leaving the Math & Science Building--where I took uh, French--last semester--and that's like, a fourth of the campus.) In fact, with the two other campuses in addition to the main one, which I attend, it's the largest 2-year college in Alabama. Anyway, it was named after John C. Calhoun, the seventh veep of these United States, who was kind of a handsome fellow in his younger years and apparently went into carnival spookhouse work when he was older. No one really seems to know why he's the namesake--he was a South Carolinian and his links to Alabama are pretty flimsy. I know he had some relatives here but still, it's not like he had an enormous influence on the state. So that's kind of a mystery. But whomever named our mascot had a funny sense of humor. Um, if you're an American history geek. Now Mr. Calhoun, if you don't know, [WARNING: NERD ALERT] and a group of his colleagues in the Twelfth Congress were way into war. Their fervent calls for war against Great Britain, which did indeed lead to a tussle that became known as the War of 1812, earned them the nickname War Hawks. So yes, we are the Calhoun Warhawks. (By the way, it was Virginia Congressman John Randolph who coined the term "War Hawks." But to be fair, he had apparently just gone through puberty so he was probably having lots of mood swings.)

Anyway that was all to say that I bought a Calhoun Warhawks t-shirt today so that I may bask in American history nerdery. I am not ashamed. (It looks like this--I got one like the ones in the basket, charcoal with hot pink lettering. Because nothing says let the bodies hit the floor like hot pink script.) I also defined phallic for the THIRD time in psych class today. It's amazing. Some of these girls are barely out of high school and already have toddlers, yet they won't say "penis" in the classroom.

Then I went to buy a cheap saucepan, because my very successful break-most-of-the-ones-I-own program has drawn to a close, and I have dreams of making tea AND soup at the same time. I went to Fred's, a discount store, and after I found the saucepan I looked around because sometimes you can find interesting stuff in there. Like this. Is your soul bland? I also bought a little bottle of 4711. It's billed as the "original eau de cologne" and they aren't lying (almost)--the phrase "eau de cologne" was originally created to mean water of Cologne, as in the German city where it was first created. This isn't the first FIRST company to make a scent in Cologne but it's up there. Anyway, the bottles are lovely and classic and they were a whopping $1 each at Fred's.

Muelhens created 4711 in 1792. It is the result of the following top fragrance Notes: bergamot, lemon and orange. The middle notes are: rosemary and rose and the base of the fragrance is: musk, petitgrain and neroli.

It's...interesting.

Saturday was the 65th anniversary of Bicycle Day, which I completely forgot about. I also forgot that the Chief would be appearing on a special on the History Channel that night called "Peyote to LSD: A Psychedelic Odyssey." It will repeat on Saturday at 5PM (est, I'm assuming). Yes, I set my Tivo.

Today, of course, is the day of the Earth. So on that note, and speaking of the Chief, here is a gentleman and scholar, a raconteur and rogue, my Chief, my friend* Mr. Bob Weir and the rest of Ratdog doing "Ashes and Glass." Er, after a brief segment in which he tries to complete an interview as certain people who are definitely not anything like your upstanding hostess, work diligently at distraction behind the interviewer's back.



[Part 2]

And if that roll takes us to France
Teach them Froggies how to dance
Keep on dancin', sing the tune
We'll be dancin' all around the moon

And if that big old moon go bust
Well ashes to ashes, baby, dust to dust
Baby it's time for one last rave
Keep on dancin' on our own graves.


*Also, a guy I keep forgetting to email. Oops. Tonight. Tonight I will do it.
wolfpangs: (froggy)
Wow, this week has been insane. Sunday was Salome and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It started with an attempt to take out the garbage at my office that should have taken five minutes tops and fifteen minutes later, culminated with beer on my shirt and garbage juice on my foot. Upon returning inside, I realized that it was the foot with the toxic wound--a couple of weeks ago, I woke up at the time I'm usually leaving for class. I stumbled groggily into the bathroom as quickly as I could...and promptly stepped on the plug for my iPod speakers. My reaction? "Eh."

[I have a long history of sustaining brutal foot injuries that I barely notice as other people are cringing. I once stepped on my boyfriend's razor and trailed blood around the floor for ten minutes before I noticed--and it wasn't until I was perched on the bathroom counter watching him clean the cut that I even blinked. Maybe I was bitten by a Goliath Bird Eating Spider and don't remember it. Oh and by the way, if you don't read Cracked, I recommend it. I was thinking of it as the magazine, like a Mad-alike, but the website is great. They combine funny and interesting trivia, which I love, with lists, which I love. Win/win! My only wish was that they'd do something about the comments, so they weren't just scores of spam posts and it looks like they're trying now. But really, it's a worthwhile read. And it's given [livejournal.com profile] start_0ver and I the wonderful, all-purpose excuse, "There's a spider near the door." Oh and by the way #2, like many of the commenters, I obviously disagree with their choosing Andrew Jackson. Assbad, maybe. I'll be going to see Some Band tomorrow and missing history, which is a good thing, because we're discussing Jackson. I don't care for him. I always say that I don't hate anyone and I don't hate him but I don't care for him. I don't care for him a lot. And the horse he rode in on. Whoa, this is a big bracket. Let's move on.]

So after that garbage indignity, I fell asleep at my mom's house and woke to an awesome combination charley horse/leg asleep sensation. If you are in the market for a new kind of pain, you should check it out. My leg is still weak. Oh but the best was yet to come: I had to get some cat fud and stuff so I went to the place where they sell walls. Apparently I missed two things in my cart when I was checking out. When I stopped to drop off the cart, I saw them and assumed they'd slid out of a bag, especially since one was on its side. The greeter swooped over and yanked the receipt from my hand, kicking off a ten-minute ordeal in which I was repeatedly asked if I "still wanted" the items I thought I'd bought, heard not one "please" or "thank you" and was generally treated like I was Carlos the effin' Jackal. So that was really sweet. In the store's defense, I filled out a web comment late Monday night and the local store called me yesterday to ask about the incident and apologize.

(I guess it could be worse--I could be like that guy in Ohio who was arrested after he forgot about some Coke* on the bottom rack of his cart. Yeah, he's a master criminal. The $160 worth of groceries he bought was just a ruse for the ultimate prize, the $4 case of Coke.)

And that was basically it for this week so far, minus running around like a maniac trying to get things done so I can go out of town for one measly weekend to see the cutest boys in the world. I made an 87 on that history exam and I guess my instructor doesn't dislike me, because we wrote "Great work" on my essay answers. Multiple choice, not so much. But I wasn't the only one. And I hope he does like me, because he'll be seeing me next semester!

My grandmother's health condition is going to kill me. It's like, "She's doing much better!" Next day: "Her kidneys are failing." Next day: "She looks great!" Next day: "It doesn't look good." I may or may not have tried to strike a bargain with the universe and ooh--my bad, Heston. But I think I'm doing better with that. Now if only the rest of my family would stay safe--my uncle broke his neck yesterday falling off a dropoff in his yard (they live on a very steep hill). The doctors say that they don't think it's a paralyzing break but come on! I gotta get a haircut today. I hope she doesn't accidentally slip and shave me bald.

I could feel sorry for myself, I guess. But I have a house to live in and I go to a good school and I have amazing friends, some of whom I get to see this week. And I know they wouldn't beat me and videotape it just for myspace fodder, so I got that going for me. (Oh and for anyone finding that story hard to believe, I refer you to Cecilia in Virgin Suicides: "Obviously Dr., you've never been a 13-year-old girl.")

*Not soda. Not pop.
I stayed up until an ungodly hour Monday night studying for my AmerHistory exam and okay, finishing the study guide that I totally slacked on, obviously...only to be reminded when I got to school that it was an open journal test. Oh, did I tell y'all about our journals? No, I did not.

He required that we get notebooks dedicated solely to our history notes. Usually I just get one three ring binder and keep my stuff for all my classes in there but nooooo. Now I have a journal. I will not call it a vade mecum. He cannot make me. He also requires that we take notes his way. Like this:

date........................definition........................term

(Date and term being in the left and right margins, respectively.) He graded the journals while we took our first exam. I forgot mine (because I'd been busy trying to recopy the notes in my style into his style) so I escaped his judgment, but when he gave the tests back, he gave a lecture again about taking notes in his style. He broke his laptop, so we no longer have PowerPoint and lots of times, I find myself just listening to him lecture rather than taking notes. So to sum up, for the purposes of the test, my notes were pretty crap. The test is a pretty standard format--50 multiple choice questions then mini-essay questions. He gives us around 15 terms and we have to answer 10 of them. He said that since this test was open journal, he'd be grading more critically than usual. So I was throwing everything in there, whether it was relevant to the chapters we were studying or not. For example, in my answer for Crispus Attucks, I mentioned that he became a symbol for abolitionists. Was he? Sure, why not?

In the early 1800s, as the Abolitionist movement gained momentum in Boston, Attucks was lauded as an example of a black American who played a heroic role in the history of the United States. Hey, alright!

Before that, we were discussing reinforcements in Psychology. Dr. E brought up the topic of serial killers and the attention they get--how probably everyone knew the name Son of Sam but not many, if any, knew the name of the Navy Seal who will be posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor next week for throwing himself on a grenade to save the rest of the men in their hideout. (His name is Michael Monsoor.) Then he was off on a discussion of serial killers and I inadvertently showed my vast and somewhat scary knowledge of them. Off on a tangent about Charles Manson, he asked if anyone knew what Manson's ultimate goal was. Ooh ooh, I do! (He was trying to spark the race war that he saw as inevitable.) I'm amazing!

You know who else is amazing? Pearl Cornioley. She passed away this past February, but during WWII, she was a resistance fighter and an all-around badass. The files on her have just been declassified, so her badassery is becoming more well known. They didn't think much of her at first, although they acknowledged that she was "probably the best shot--male or female--we have yet had." According to the International Herald Tribune:

"After parachuting into France, Cornioley passed on secret messages to her first handler in France that she had carried in the hem of her skirt. Following the capture of her leader, she assumed control of the cell in the north Indre department of the Loire River valley, about 240 miles southeast of the Normandy beaches. She interrupted the Paris-Bordeaux railway line more than 800 times and attacked convoys in June 1944, the month of the D-Day invasion. All told, she led 3,000 French Resistance fighters in a host of guerrilla warfare missions. She proved so crucial that the Nazis issued a 1 million franc award for her capture, hoping to quash her pivotal role in the Resistance."

But she could not be quashed. Years later, the British government tried to honor her...with an award for civilians, being ineligible for a military award because she was a lady. She refused the civilian award, because "there was nothing civil about what I did" and that "the work which I undertook was of a purely military nature in enemy occupied country. I personally was responsible for the training and organisation of nearly 3,000 men for sabotage and guerrilla warfare." She was awarded her Parachute Wings from the RAF in 2006.

Of course, I can't think about the resistance without thinking of this scene. "Fun" fact: Many of the actors and actresses playing refugees in this scene were refugees. The tears were real. Vive la France. Speaking of France, I love this commercial for a French movie network, which uses the French title of March of the Penguins (in France, March of the Emperors) to fun effect. Speaking of movies, I finally saw Sweeney Todd Sunday night. It's my favorite musical so I was nervous but I loved it. I've been walking around singing the songs, which I should probably stop before I bust out in public with "They aaaaall deserve to die!" from "Epiphany." [That's the scene from the movie, so you know, slightly spoilery I guess.]

And I've got some other stuff to ramble on about, but this entry is long enough, so I'll do that later. Later!
wolfpangs: (privacy)
An hour ago, I went to the nearest gas station to get some pain medication--yes, my headache was so bad that I left my office--and all they had was Motrin. Ugh. I was like, "They still make that?" Not to mention ibuprofen doesn't do much for me. I guess it could have been worse--it could have been just naproxen (Aleve). In terms of their effectiveness on me, ranked from maximum to least, headache treatments look like this:

*Acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffeine (I love you, Excedrin)
*acetaminophen
*ibuprofen
*aspirin
*quiet time/nap/etc
*wishing really hard
*naproxen

After all this presidential campaigning, though, I need some Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches.

I can't conceive of a movie poster or image or thing produced by humans that could be less appealing than this. It looks a neo-noirish version of Peter Griffin. Ugh. That gives me the ickles.

Tomorrow I go back to school. Oh yeah, I've been on spring break this past week. And what a rocking good time it was, amirite? But back to school--my American history class scares me. I've gotten used to the way he lectures so I'm not trying to slit my wrists with the edge of my desk anymore but I may start trying again if he keeps asking questions. Most of the time he does straight lecture but occasionally he'll ask us questions about current events or history and I am the only one who ever answers. Last class, he asked a long series of questions--what Presidents were generals, what Presidents had military service, were they good Presidents, etc--and I answered all but one. (Another student volunteered Washington as a President who'd been a general while I was mentally searching my Presidential blind spot, the period between Lincoln and the start of the 20th century.) It's really kind of depressing, especially the fact that these people are legal to vote. It's not that I think there should be some sort of test pre-voting (and unlike my classmates, I know the negative associations of voter tests) but it always surprises me how some people move through the world completely oblivious to everything.

In other news, I sent a package to [livejournal.com profile] monooka yesterday and I'm so excited. Not like, "Woo, go me--I sent a present!" but it's so specific--a specific reminder of a very...very night, that is--that I can't wait for her to get it. I'm excited to tell you all what it is but in a few days, so we don't ruin the surprise.

Now if you'll permit, I'm going to say, "Scuse me" to this elephant in the room and try to focus on positive thoughts today. Happy Easter!
wolfpangs: (page six lovers)
Things that happen only to me: So, I comment occasionally on a blog. I use a particular username there, as well as a corresponding AIM ID, different than I usually use. Saturday afternoon, I was studying online and doing some chatting when I got an IM to that ID. I had no idea who the person was and the first message was kind of unusual, so I really didn't know what to expect. The person was asking me questions related to my username and I answered them and then that went on to questions about other stuff. And then...I talked to this girl for TWO HOURS. At first, I admit I was kind of weirded out but the fact that I will talk to anyone won out and we just kept talking about all sorts of stuff. She told me about the God particle and I told her about the horror movie trope, the Final Girl. It was such a great conversation--talking to someone that I didn't know and who didn't know me was actually very freeing. Cathartic, actually. I may never talk to her again but we had that moment and it was very positive. Only connect.

Which was very helpful, because last night shorty got low, low, low, low. No particular reason, I guess--just nature and lack of sleep and school-related stress. But it was bad, doldrums stuff. I haven't been that down in a long time. All the terrible news stories (Jajuan Holmes, Lauren Burk, Eve Carson, David Motari...) were working on me and I was feeling apocalyptic. Then, I don't know what happened. The fever, as it were, broke. I picked up a newspaper and read that my former denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, did a 180 on their position on global warming.

Scientific facts aside, I've long believed as Richard Cizik, the policy director for the National Association of Evangelicals, states, "to harm this world by environmental degradation is an offense against God." The fact that Focus on the Family's James Dobson and a few others have tried to muzzle Cizik, doesn't surprise me but I find it dumb all the same. The signers of the new statement aren't talking some radical changes--just true stewardship. How can you claim to care about the culture of life if you have no regard for the very planet that it belongs to? It just doesn't make sense...unless you consider that Dobson, et al, really focus on their agendas--their anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-sex ed agendas. And on that note, I'm really proud of the SBC on this. If they ever change their feelings about choice and about homosexuality, I'd be very pleased to resubmit my letter.*

And then I just took a break and effing relaxed. Zoned out with [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama, my favorite lj community, uploaded a video for a friend to his Facebook community, and hung out with my best dudes forever--my cat, my fish and the dogs. It's a better day. Last night, I became near unhinged when someone told me that it would be but hey, it is and I'm not too proud to admit it.

In other news, somehow I missed that last year, Christian Louboutin and David Lynch joined forces to rock my universe [NSFW]. I don't even know how to process it yet. To quote the most humble man in music, Mr. Kanye West, "I spent a whole 5 minutes looking at this, which is like 5 hours for a normal person!" Speaking of the wisdom of Kanye, I pretty much want to marry this phone. That is just loverly. I'm having a hard time not phrasing my descriptions in the manner of extreme advertising, the currently popular meme (you may have seen the Obama "ad" going around, in which case you know that his font got serifs). We had a lot of fun with that yesterday in [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama [Not safe if you're offended by cursing every other word]. And speaking of things that make me laugh, Asher Sarlin's webcomic Elephantitis of the Mind hasn't been updated since November, but it was all new to me and I read through the whole thing in practically one sitting. (I'm a champion sitter.) I am also topnotch at napping. I am going to nap the hell out of this early evening, right after I geek out (or, continue to geek out) and get my Kingdom of Loathing on.

*I don't know if they use this terminology in other denominations, but when you leave one Southern Baptist church and officially join a new one, they call that moving your letter. I left the denomination, so I withdrew my letter.
I am obsessed with Imaginary Foundation t-shirts lately. The designs are beautiful and they're inspirational but not in a Precious Moments kind of way. They're clever and a little funny but not in a "Gettin' lucky in Kentucky" kind of way.

Speaking of design, Richard Prince has done the impossible--he made me want a LV bag. They've never appealed to me for a variety of reasons, including that I don't like the monogram design and they were (and still are) everywhere. But I love Richard Prince! The "Joke" bags are not my favorite--python, gross--but I am embarrassed about my feelings for the Weekender PM. Also, I'm amused that the line itself is being considered "controversial" in some circles. I laughed when I saw a comment on one bag site declaring a Joke bag, which is printed with Henny Youngmanesque riffs, as offensive as the Zara swastika bag. Oh, yes. "Take my wife...please": Like a swastika!

Via a link in [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama, I took the Internet Culture IQ test and scored an embarrassing 197. I wonder how much useful knowledge in my brain has been replaced by internet memes and commercial jingles. ("One Price Optical, where it's no lie--everything's $39.95! Single vision lenses and eyeglass frames, contact lenses--all priced the same! One Price Optical ($39.95)! One Price Optical (We're clearly better!)")* I've been doing all this online shopping and blog reading (the usual plus Cracked, AV Club, etc) because I've been glued to my computer studying for midterms. I've not been this overwhelmed by school since...ever. Turns out it's a lot harder if you actually care.

I do get one minor reprieve shortly--Monday I'm going to see Vampire Weekend at Bottletree, which I'm excited about. Very interested to see how they are live. I guess I'll semi find out tonight, as they're on SNL.

As you may have heard, Gary Gygax, one of the co-creators of Dungeons and Dragons, died this week. I can't decide whose tribute I like better--Penny Arcade's or XKCD's.

Bonus laugh: Go back in time to 2001 and read the comments at Mac Rumors about Apple's newly announced device--a little trifle called an iPod. Like: "I'd call it the Cube 2.0 as it wont sell, and be killed off in a short time...and it's not really functional."

And now, back to the French mines.

*I used to hear this on a Columbus (GA) radio station when I was living in my hometown. So I haven't heard it since at least the late 90s. Will it ever leave my brain? Probably not.
Hang together or hang separately: Tuesday in American history, I wanted to leave early but decided not to. Partly because we were discussing the Declaration of Independence and I full-on nerd out about this sort of thing and partly because the three girls in the row behind me all walked out early. This is a common occurrence--people walking out early for no reason other than they can't stand the class. I looked around during the class and a few people had their heads on the table and several people looked like they were clearly involved with other stuff. This really frustrates me. This is exciting material to me but he presents it in such a dull manner that it's like, who cares? I've been thinking about going into education but hadn't decided if I wanted to focus on a particular subject or do early education. I think if I did a specific topic, it would probably be American history. I freakin' love it! I'm the kind of nerd who can recite Amendments. I took a nap in George Washington's backyard, splayed out on the bank of the Potomac. I've been reading my textbook for fun.

I'm a pirate: My eye was bothering me and I thought it was contact lens irritation or a reaction to these pills I'm taking but even after going without my lens, it was still all grody. In fact, I rubbed it so much yesterday that I gave myself a black eye. I hooked myself up with some drops today, though, and everything feels much better. I may or may not be wearing an eyepatch right now.*

Reason #5343 why I love XKCD: This.

Hermit permit: I've been kind of reclusive lately, mainly because I've been so busy with school and other projects but things are finally lightening up and I'm getting to my traveling portion of the season.

And now I'm going to do some editing and hopefully, some writing. And definitely some catching up on lj.

*I totally am.
This week, I was the only person in my history class who knew that Kosovo declared independence. Liberty and phalluses--those are my areas of expertise.

I'm going to post some more photos later and write up a mini bio for all the newish people on my friends list (and you not so newish people who are wondering who the hell I am). I have to run to the bank at the moment but quickly, now:

White Whine: White folks are so in right now! Anyway, like SWPL, I think these are probably more common to class than just race but it's interesting to see how many I relate to. (“Why can’t more websites be viewed cleanly on my blackberry? For Christ’s sake it’s almost 2008, its time for websites to accept that they need to be designed for the mobile user, too.")

XKCD: Not new at all, of course but I've only recently sat down and read through it. And I really did LOL. (P.S.: I am probably the last person on earth to read this but in case not, if you didn't know, you should hover for the alt text.)

What has Barack Obama done for you?: OMG, you guys--he warmed up my car for me. That is so sweet!

EDITED TO ADD:

Michelle Obama
Hillary Clinton
Ron Paul
John McCain
1. Thursday in my psychology class, I was the only one who knew what the word "phallus" means. It's nice to be distinguished.

2. I realized that I've had a gift card to Belk since Christmas 2006 so I went there last week to use it. The saleswoman offered the store credit card to me, talking up its discounty goodness and then said, "Um, I mean if you're old enough to apply." You know what never gets old? Never getting older.

Speaking of, I have another photo from my tragic hippie past to show. I've been scanning photos, actually, so I have several to share.

3. Stuff White People Like

4. So sad: I could not sleep at all. I got like, four hours of sleep before a blinding headache woke me up. I am so tired that I'm nauseated but I'm not lying down yet because I'm waiting for "Roger"'s shift to start on the radio so I can properly rest.

5. I read Twilight, the teen vampire book, this week. I enjoyed reading it and all but oh whoa, what a Mary Sue. And not just content to be a Mary Sue--Edward, the vamp, is a Gary Stu as well. I am currently reading Joe Hill's Heart Shaped Box. Last night I read a piece he recommended, "There's a Hole in the City," a short story set during the immediate aftermath of September 11. It's a ghost story and I was fully prepared to hate it but it gave me the chills.

The radio show is on so I'm going to go try to rest. I will post those photos later tonight.
1. Society and art: "Pansy" is but one letter away from "patsy," and that's the kind of bitch I'm especially not trying to be.: I love Rich at FourFour so much. That link is to his response to getting a writing solicitation from a magazine that was basically like, "Hey, you're a gay!" His recap of the first glorious episode of Rock of Love Season 2 is up, as well.

2. Politics: Via [livejournal.com profile] fromaway, "The Baby Primary," in which the author attempts to get his baby photographed with every major Presidential candidate.

3. Music: This new Kid Rock song ("Amen"). It's so...earnest.

One of the things I should have put on my 101 list is my desire to build a large collection of dirty blues music. I am fascinated by it. I have a few albums already but I want them all. A folder full of songs about jelly rolls and baking biscuits!

I was all hyped to start this buying more albums thing, until I looked at the calendar of upcoming releases and had my own release in the form of an extended "Meh." You stay classy, Pitchfork. I'll just be over here buying Ornette Coleman.

...when I'm not indulging my pop sweet tooth. I wanted to know who did the female backing vocal on Britney's "Piece of Me" because it's really doing something for me and after I checked Wiki, I found out it's Robyn! Yes, 1993 "Show Me Love" Robyn. I'd heard that she was pretty big in Sweden and was back in general but I hadn't listened to anything she's done recently. But I heartily approve of "Konichiwa Bitches."

Oh and by the dubs, Brit: That song would work much better as a sassy call out to the media if you hadn't lost your damn mind.

4. Life: I started school this week. I really like my Psych professor. I've had one day of classes so that's about all I have to say.

I keep having these freakouts about omg-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life. Then I step back and relax and try to focus on one thing, since I can't accomplish it all at once and/or right away.

I've been working on my screenplay and broke through the wee writer's block I was having. I go back and forth between "this is stupid--no one will buy this" and "this might actually work." Exactly like my life!

5. Rave/Rant: I love Scar Zone A. It is by far the best skin care product I have ever used. Usually, nothing works on me but this works amazingly.

I do have two quibbles with it, though. First of all, it's a basic drugstore product, meaning that it's not something super fancy and it's pretty economically priced. However, I can't find it anywhere here. Most stores stock regular Scar Zone but no one has SZ A, so I have to buy it on eBay or drugstore.com. So that can be kind of inconvenient, especially like with the last time, when the seller on eBay accidentally mixed up the packages and sent me something another bidder had bought. But that was okay, really, since she ended up sending me two tubes for the inconvenience and because I sent the wrong package to the right bidder. Still, kind of annoying

Oh and also, if they could make it so it doesn't smell like I'm smearing vomit on my face, that would be great.
1) Dooney & Bourke ask, "What if you had the chance to design the handbag you've always wanted?" Hayden Panettiere says, "Make mine leather!" What a coincidence! I'm having mine made of dolphins. Live ones, of course--I'm not an asshole.

It won't hold much but you should see how fast I can get around in coastal cities.

2) If you have a cat, you have an instant wakeup call.



3) 15 Reasons Mister Rogers Was the Best Neighbor Ever: How far can you get through the list before you mysteriously get something in your eye?

4) I am trying to register for classes right now and it's a nightmare. I absolutely, positively have to have Anatomy and Physiology (they won't take my massage school credits) and my school is offering only two classes. One on Monday and one on Tuesday. Oh and an online class*. And they're all full! Other campus? Full! Waitlisting? No!

I am hoping that either someone will drop out or they'll add extra classes or I'll be able to take it somewhere else. I HAVE to have it to get into the program that I want on time. (And by "on time," I mean 2008 instead of 2009.) This is maddening!

Well, at least I get to take French 102 now.

5) I am watching the menswear challenge on ProjRun.



6) I can't believe Pimp C is dead. I remember when he did that interview, everyone was like, "Hahaha, he gon' get killed." But not for serious!

7) Have some music! "Morning Has Broken," Ellen Green on Pushing Daisies and "Morning Has Broken," by Cat Stevens. A Christmas mix is coming soon.

Happy birthday, Jay!


*It's like a physics question--how can a class that doesn't exist in space be full?
So to clarify more about my last entry, I had nothing to do with that. I was thinking that I'd probably be in my forties before I'd pay off my student loans. And hey, I still have the loans for the studying I'm doing now so maybe I will! But anyway, my dad started bugging me to let him into my loan account. At first he said it was because they just couldn't believe that my loans were that much but I was like, "It's a private school--more expensive" and that seemed to be the end of it. Then last month, he started saying that I should give him my log-in because "it might be beneficial for" me. Honestly, I figured that if anything, he might spot me a cool $100, based on past history. And it's not that I wouldn't appreciate any gift he gave me; I'm just saying this as a statement of fact. My dad is very much into practical matters--my big gift from him last Christmas was a new set of tires, for example. For another, when my sister turned 16, he gave her a bucket. And a full set of car-washing supplies but still--I enjoy telling her, "You got a bucket."

[That actually isn't too bad, though, because my sister's the type of person who can usually think of only one thing she wants. Starting when she was three and asked for a "maganet" all the way up to like, two years ago, when all she wanted was a full-length freestanding mirror. It's charming but she impossible to shop for.]

Speaking of my sister, she doesn't think it's my dad that paid off the loans because "he just made me pay $200 for my insurance." Hi, have you met Daddy? That's what he does! But I don't see who else it could be, because it's not like I gave out my log-in info for that site willynilly. Although maybe I should have, if people are going to be so generous.

And on that subject, I'm not sure exactly how to thank my dad. A card doesn't seem enough. Neither does a thumbs up and a "Nice work, sport!" I called him Thursday finally and I was going to say something then but I forgot he was in Colorado. And he was shopping and the line was fuzzy so...I still haven't said anything.

Let's see, what else is up? Well, I had midterms this week. That's kind of misleading, though. I had only one actual midterm exam, which was in French. I'm not sure yet how I did but it wasn't too painful. And it gave us the excuse of having study group, which was super fun. It must have been because we sat at Books a Million for four freakin' hours. Hey, they have magazines! And pumpkin spice lattes!

Saw The Heartbreak Kid last week. Eeeee. It could've been a lot better, I think. That is me, Empress Obvious. And I thought maybe I'd misread the movie until I asked my companion, "Wait--he [Stiller's character] was a douche, yes?" and he agreed with me.

We had dinner at a restaurant whose menu amused me--it features the famous drink, the Sherry Temple. And birthday cake is listed in the desserts at "market price." Really?

Besides that, I've mostly been working on perfume stuff and planning for travel. I finally decided on a Halloween costume but I'm not going to say what it is yet--you'll just have to see the pictures. But while we're on the subject, I'd like to praise Leather Delight [may be NSFW], the site where I got my costume. Somehow, my payment went through but my order didn't, and the owner herself e-mailed me to let me know, which was awesome. I'm kind of sad that I probably won't get to carve a pumpkin (because I'll be in NY on Halloween) but I'm excited about my trip. I have a few people that I'm planning to see while I'm there but overall, I'm looking forward to spending the weekend in a city that is not mine. Even if I'll miss the one appearance of the Young Wild Things tour here, boohoo.
OMGOMGOMGOMG )

There may be better things to wake up to, but I'm having trouble thinking of any right now.

EDIT: In case it's not clear, I had no idea this was going to happen.
Hi, everyone! It's so nice to be able to talk again regularly. I love my new computer. It's so nice to be able to do things like watch videos or use flash without it just cutting out for no reason. I even made a new header for Boob Tube! And then I replied to an old text message instead of creating a new message and accidentally txted my dad, "Made a new boob tube header," instead of Tanis. Five seconds later, my phone rang: "You did what?"

We cleaned out a room at my house last week and I found a videotape with the VH1 Legends: Grateful Dead episode on it (along with The Thing That Wouldn't Die--I'm a weirdo). I watched the special and there is this hilarious commercial during it for a Dell desktop. It has a staggering, staggering 6.4gb hard drive and it can be yours for the low, low price of $2399. What a steal!

Everything else is going pretty well for me. I am still enjoying school, although I am ready to be dunzo with ENG 101. French is fun, though. The instructor is going to be out on Tuesday so I was like, "Woohoo, sleeping in" but then a classmate told me that everyone's going to come anyway so we can study for midterms. I would bah! at that but I enjoy class so much that I'm probably going to go.

In other news, if you haven't heard, I'm in the very natal stages of starting my own perfume company. It is a little terrifying but also exciting. I finally feel like I've found my calling. Like, I liked massage okay but there was always a part of it that felt like a real drag. With this, I'm definitely more passionate and inspired. It's become a game for me to assign scents to things. I love to do it when I'm listening to music. Like, Kanye West: lime, cream, leather. Anyway, don't expect anything very soon. I have a name for my company and I've created four collections with note assignments but I still have to figure out the formulas, the most important part. But I am so psyched.

In other perfume news, I'm participating in the [livejournal.com profile] bpalanonymous fall swap and that's hard, yo. It seems so easy at first--buy someone presents, yay! But then it was like, "But what do I buy?" and it got really overwhelming. I think I've got a better idea of what I'm going to do but it would be a lot easier if I had someone who knew my person so I could be like, "How's this grab ya?" (Btw, [livejournal.com profile] start_0ver is the authorized agent for info on me.) Wednesday, I went to the mall in Decatur, which was a super depressing place, and picked up a couple of things for my person and okay, a couple of things for me. Like these!

So all in all, things are going really well for me. I am even going to get to travel a bit. I'm planning on NYC at the end of the month and southern Florida next month. Sunday, I'm even going to go hang out with Magnet Boy's brother. (And don't worry, you don't have to caution me, as Tanis did, not to bone him.)

Good times.
Today was just a good day all around. First, I got a letter from my Senator and he was all, "You want insurance to pay for BC pills? Me, too! Golly, Salome--we don't agree on um, any other issue but we are so of one mind on this! Let's paint each other's nails and talk about boys!" Okay, maybe I made that last part up. But it was a really nice letter and I appreciate his responding to the letter that I totally forgot I sent.

Then, I had the Incredibly Long Class That Never Ever Ends. It's four hours of nonstop nonfun. It is the review for our National Certification exam. Every class, we get a giganto packet that we spend the next three hours doing--matching, multiple choice, fill-in-the-damn-blank. It's like really, really hard elementary school. We're convinced we never learned half this stuff. Our teacher encouraged us to work together so we all pile onto one or two tables and do all the work together. It sounds like this: "So, 13 is C? I thought 5 was C." "What's a sarcomere?" "Wait, Golgi tendon organ? What the hell is that?" "2 is C."

Tonight, our teacher sat down at the table with us while we were working. One of my classmates asked her if it was as hard for her to get through this class as it was for us. "Oh, yes." Turns out that her Monday starts at like, 8 so it's a 14-hour day for her. She dreads it as much as we do and told us that she begged them not to make it a one-day class. Four hours is fine for bodywork but regular class? Eegah. So, she let us out early, after we finished our packet. Don't tell anyone! Teacher: Who here is going to tell on us? Classmate: No one--everyone else has gone home.

Then, I came home to an email from someone that I just adore. Gosh, he's just the greatest. Every time I get an email from him, I just want to turn up "Mono" really loud and dance around. Ahaha...did you miss me? Well, you won't have to miss me much longer. Aaaand, a little birdie told me about some not-missing-me you might be doing a little closer to Fort Awesome. If that happens, I will try to make up for not getting to see any lj friends on this trip. Maybe in *whispers* Boston.

You can all go get something to drink while we wait for Pasha to come to.

Anyway, dearest email sender, you don't have to fake any accents. Your real one already makes me lightheaded and dizzy in the best of ways. I mean, come on. You're like, the dream.

So then I checked my bank account and hello, mysterious money! I love when that happens. Add to that the fact that I got my um, allowance today and whee--internet shopping! I constructed about a billion new concert looks including sweetheart of the rodeo drive, a tribute to sable starr, and a bunch of other stuff that I'll remain top-secret about until their debuts. The boys are just shocked, shocked! that I do so much of my own tour "advancing."

I want a new handbag. Who makes a cute, functional handbag? I don't think I should buy another wristlet from Coach. I luff them but they're not very practical. So, does anyone have any recommendations?

Thennn, after all that, I was reminded that it's almost time for another presents holiday. Yay. That's why I don't get why people full-on loathe Valentine's Day. Duh, it's another day to get presents. Who cares if you have to buy them for yourself? That's when you get what you really want!

So yeah, my life is aces right now. Books to read, chiffon to inhabit, and beautiful boys all up in my inbox. So good! I make a wish every day that good things happen for all of you. Then, I make the smite-people-I-don't-like wish. And that one always works.

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