"You undergraduates who see me for the first time have read your newspapers and heard on the air that I am, at the very least, an ogre — a consorter with communists, a destroyer of the rich, a breaker of our ancient traditions. You think of me perhaps as the inventor of the economic royalist, of the wicked utilities, of the money changers of the temple. You have heard for six years that I was about to plunge the nation into war; that you and your little brothers would be sent to the bloody fields of battle in Europe; that I was driving the nation into bankruptcy, and that I breakfasted every morning on a dish of 'grilled millionaire.' Actually I am an exceedingly mild mannered person—a practitioner of peace, both domestic and foreign, a believer in the capitalistic system, and for my breakfast a devotee of scrambled eggs."

Gotta go be tested on my history skillz shortly. When I get back, I should finish the next batch of scanned photos.

Feeling very optimistic. I had a terrible fit of nihilism (read: crushing depression and/or hopelessness) the other day and it was black black black. Then I saw the first five minutes of The Dark Knight and I was like, "That. I believe in that." In the meantime, my Tumblr has become sort of a chronicle of things to believe in. Reasons to be beautiful. The purpose of the moon. It is working out quite well and I have tumbled myself back into my customary optimism. "...is fear itself." Yes, this.

Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not. Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end. Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.

There is only one serious question. And that is:

Who knows how to make love stay?

Answer me that and I will tell you whether or not to kill yourself. Answer me that and I will ease your mind about the beginning and the end of time. Answer me that and I will reveal to you the purpose of the moon.
wolfpangs: (page six lovers)
Things that happen only to me: So, I comment occasionally on a blog. I use a particular username there, as well as a corresponding AIM ID, different than I usually use. Saturday afternoon, I was studying online and doing some chatting when I got an IM to that ID. I had no idea who the person was and the first message was kind of unusual, so I really didn't know what to expect. The person was asking me questions related to my username and I answered them and then that went on to questions about other stuff. And then...I talked to this girl for TWO HOURS. At first, I admit I was kind of weirded out but the fact that I will talk to anyone won out and we just kept talking about all sorts of stuff. She told me about the God particle and I told her about the horror movie trope, the Final Girl. It was such a great conversation--talking to someone that I didn't know and who didn't know me was actually very freeing. Cathartic, actually. I may never talk to her again but we had that moment and it was very positive. Only connect.

Which was very helpful, because last night shorty got low, low, low, low. No particular reason, I guess--just nature and lack of sleep and school-related stress. But it was bad, doldrums stuff. I haven't been that down in a long time. All the terrible news stories (Jajuan Holmes, Lauren Burk, Eve Carson, David Motari...) were working on me and I was feeling apocalyptic. Then, I don't know what happened. The fever, as it were, broke. I picked up a newspaper and read that my former denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, did a 180 on their position on global warming.

Scientific facts aside, I've long believed as Richard Cizik, the policy director for the National Association of Evangelicals, states, "to harm this world by environmental degradation is an offense against God." The fact that Focus on the Family's James Dobson and a few others have tried to muzzle Cizik, doesn't surprise me but I find it dumb all the same. The signers of the new statement aren't talking some radical changes--just true stewardship. How can you claim to care about the culture of life if you have no regard for the very planet that it belongs to? It just doesn't make sense...unless you consider that Dobson, et al, really focus on their agendas--their anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-sex ed agendas. And on that note, I'm really proud of the SBC on this. If they ever change their feelings about choice and about homosexuality, I'd be very pleased to resubmit my letter.*

And then I just took a break and effing relaxed. Zoned out with [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama, my favorite lj community, uploaded a video for a friend to his Facebook community, and hung out with my best dudes forever--my cat, my fish and the dogs. It's a better day. Last night, I became near unhinged when someone told me that it would be but hey, it is and I'm not too proud to admit it.

In other news, somehow I missed that last year, Christian Louboutin and David Lynch joined forces to rock my universe [NSFW]. I don't even know how to process it yet. To quote the most humble man in music, Mr. Kanye West, "I spent a whole 5 minutes looking at this, which is like 5 hours for a normal person!" Speaking of the wisdom of Kanye, I pretty much want to marry this phone. That is just loverly. I'm having a hard time not phrasing my descriptions in the manner of extreme advertising, the currently popular meme (you may have seen the Obama "ad" going around, in which case you know that his font got serifs). We had a lot of fun with that yesterday in [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama [Not safe if you're offended by cursing every other word]. And speaking of things that make me laugh, Asher Sarlin's webcomic Elephantitis of the Mind hasn't been updated since November, but it was all new to me and I read through the whole thing in practically one sitting. (I'm a champion sitter.) I am also topnotch at napping. I am going to nap the hell out of this early evening, right after I geek out (or, continue to geek out) and get my Kingdom of Loathing on.

*I don't know if they use this terminology in other denominations, but when you leave one Southern Baptist church and officially join a new one, they call that moving your letter. I left the denomination, so I withdrew my letter.
Or, Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

During a scintillating conversation last night, I realized that after a few years of having aspects of my life--for example: my appearance, personality, sex life--discussed by strangers on the internets...I fold.

During my Some Band hiatus, I tried to fill the SB-shaped hole with Fall Out Boy. It didn't work so well--no matter how I wired it together, I could never get it to fire at the right time. But anyway, they have a song called "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued," which is about fame and fans and things like that. Last night, I was thinking about that song. Specifically, the line that goes, "We're only good 'cause you can have almost famous friends." I realized that a) I don't want to feel like that about my friends ever and b) hey, they are my friends and as such, I don't want to be a bridge to them for people who may not have the best intentions. In addition, as you can probably tell from the first paragraph, I'm a bit tired of having my life be picked apart for crumbs about them. I've become fascinated lately by the whole Scene Queens thing, because I'm curious about the scene thing as a whole and I'd just like to say...when you freak out, I understand, Scene Queens, I understand. At first, I think, they seek out the attention because few among us don't like attention. But the more people that pay attention, the more intense it gets and then it becomes intrusive and weird and the next thing you know, strangers on the internet are discussing how they can see your extension tracks or in my case, whether my relationship ended because I was "arrogant."

So from now on, I'm actually, no kiddin', no takebacks, for serious abstaining from public references to them in this journal. I know I've mostly done that anyway but there will no coded entries, no cutesy nicknames for you to figure out, lalalala.

I know this is all very drama llama but fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. I'm just trying to be a better friend and if the end result is lowered site visits, then oh noes--I don't care.

P.S.: My personal favorite.

Profile

wolfpangs

October 2012

S M T W T F S
  123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Aug. 27th, 2025 05:28 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios