Pools of sorrow, waves of joy.
Jan. 12th, 2004 01:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfpangsAnd that's life.
I pay attention to the songs I hear on the radio while I'm on trips, particularly if I hear songs repeatedly and they're not the latest radio hits. If I hear a song over and over again and it came out a few years (or a few decades) ago, I tend to think that someone's trying to tell me something. Like, I know I've made a big deal about hearing a certain Bob Dylan cover at shows. What does it mean?! Lately, I've been listening to CDs of shows and it occurred to me that there's another song I hear even more than that one. In fact, I've heard it twice as much. And that song is "Blackbird," the Beatles song. To me, that's pretty significant. If I were an ubergeek (and I am, obviously), I could check my setlist statistics and see that it is the third most-played song at shows I've gone to. Actually, the first two songs are usually played together, one into the other, so "Blackbird" could count as the second most-played. So what does all this mean?
Well, take a look at the lyrics. "Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Three years ago, I pulled myself out of a horrible depression and an even worse relationship. I started telling myself that good things would happen to me, if only I would reach out and get them. And they did. I remind myself every day that I have a choice. I can walk this world or I can learn to fly.
I feel like a dork writing this. I know that some people have said in their journals that they feel bad about writing about "bad" feelings. I feel the opposite. I feel like when people read my journal, they roll their eyes and think, That's easy for her to say. Well, it is and it isn't. I still feel bad sometimes. However, I spent enough time feeling bad. I'm not going to do it again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad because you feel bad. But don't sink into it, either. Don't let it become a home. It's easier said than done--I know from experience. But it can be done.
I know that from experience, too. Last year, I had a year of amazing moments. This year, I hope the same happens for all of you.
And if you're still rolling your eyes, well...whatever. I don't really get why you read this, except you know what "they" say. Every cynic's a closet romantic.
Nothing's going to change my world.
I pay attention to the songs I hear on the radio while I'm on trips, particularly if I hear songs repeatedly and they're not the latest radio hits. If I hear a song over and over again and it came out a few years (or a few decades) ago, I tend to think that someone's trying to tell me something. Like, I know I've made a big deal about hearing a certain Bob Dylan cover at shows. What does it mean?! Lately, I've been listening to CDs of shows and it occurred to me that there's another song I hear even more than that one. In fact, I've heard it twice as much. And that song is "Blackbird," the Beatles song. To me, that's pretty significant. If I were an ubergeek (and I am, obviously), I could check my setlist statistics and see that it is the third most-played song at shows I've gone to. Actually, the first two songs are usually played together, one into the other, so "Blackbird" could count as the second most-played. So what does all this mean?
Well, take a look at the lyrics. "Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Three years ago, I pulled myself out of a horrible depression and an even worse relationship. I started telling myself that good things would happen to me, if only I would reach out and get them. And they did. I remind myself every day that I have a choice. I can walk this world or I can learn to fly.
I feel like a dork writing this. I know that some people have said in their journals that they feel bad about writing about "bad" feelings. I feel the opposite. I feel like when people read my journal, they roll their eyes and think, That's easy for her to say. Well, it is and it isn't. I still feel bad sometimes. However, I spent enough time feeling bad. I'm not going to do it again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad because you feel bad. But don't sink into it, either. Don't let it become a home. It's easier said than done--I know from experience. But it can be done.
I know that from experience, too. Last year, I had a year of amazing moments. This year, I hope the same happens for all of you.
And if you're still rolling your eyes, well...whatever. I don't really get why you read this, except you know what "they" say. Every cynic's a closet romantic.
Nothing's going to change my world.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 11:37 am (UTC)It was weird. The other night I was feeling rather 'down' since I've been dealing with a bad flare up of my chronic fatigue for the past two months.
I haven't spoken with this friend of mine, Andy in a while as I usually forget to turn on my Yahoo messenger (his preferred IM program). Well he found me on AIM and we chatted for a while, which led evenutally to talking about his time as a pilot in 'Nam.
What he went through over there made my heart weep. And it also reminded me that I can get through this and get back to where I want to be. IT may not be easy, but it can be done.
I don't think having a postive outlook makes you naive or an idealist. If anything it makes you more a realist. You recognize that life isn't getting the latest DVD, or the latest fashion, or deciding where to eat for lunch. While all those things can be fun, they are not a 'life'. Actions and experiences are 'life'. And our 'lives' are what matters.
*gives you a hug just 'cause*