Pools of sorrow, waves of joy.
Jan. 12th, 2004 01:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfpangsAnd that's life.
I pay attention to the songs I hear on the radio while I'm on trips, particularly if I hear songs repeatedly and they're not the latest radio hits. If I hear a song over and over again and it came out a few years (or a few decades) ago, I tend to think that someone's trying to tell me something. Like, I know I've made a big deal about hearing a certain Bob Dylan cover at shows. What does it mean?! Lately, I've been listening to CDs of shows and it occurred to me that there's another song I hear even more than that one. In fact, I've heard it twice as much. And that song is "Blackbird," the Beatles song. To me, that's pretty significant. If I were an ubergeek (and I am, obviously), I could check my setlist statistics and see that it is the third most-played song at shows I've gone to. Actually, the first two songs are usually played together, one into the other, so "Blackbird" could count as the second most-played. So what does all this mean?
Well, take a look at the lyrics. "Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Three years ago, I pulled myself out of a horrible depression and an even worse relationship. I started telling myself that good things would happen to me, if only I would reach out and get them. And they did. I remind myself every day that I have a choice. I can walk this world or I can learn to fly.
I feel like a dork writing this. I know that some people have said in their journals that they feel bad about writing about "bad" feelings. I feel the opposite. I feel like when people read my journal, they roll their eyes and think, That's easy for her to say. Well, it is and it isn't. I still feel bad sometimes. However, I spent enough time feeling bad. I'm not going to do it again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad because you feel bad. But don't sink into it, either. Don't let it become a home. It's easier said than done--I know from experience. But it can be done.
I know that from experience, too. Last year, I had a year of amazing moments. This year, I hope the same happens for all of you.
And if you're still rolling your eyes, well...whatever. I don't really get why you read this, except you know what "they" say. Every cynic's a closet romantic.
Nothing's going to change my world.
I pay attention to the songs I hear on the radio while I'm on trips, particularly if I hear songs repeatedly and they're not the latest radio hits. If I hear a song over and over again and it came out a few years (or a few decades) ago, I tend to think that someone's trying to tell me something. Like, I know I've made a big deal about hearing a certain Bob Dylan cover at shows. What does it mean?! Lately, I've been listening to CDs of shows and it occurred to me that there's another song I hear even more than that one. In fact, I've heard it twice as much. And that song is "Blackbird," the Beatles song. To me, that's pretty significant. If I were an ubergeek (and I am, obviously), I could check my setlist statistics and see that it is the third most-played song at shows I've gone to. Actually, the first two songs are usually played together, one into the other, so "Blackbird" could count as the second most-played. So what does all this mean?
Well, take a look at the lyrics. "Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Three years ago, I pulled myself out of a horrible depression and an even worse relationship. I started telling myself that good things would happen to me, if only I would reach out and get them. And they did. I remind myself every day that I have a choice. I can walk this world or I can learn to fly.
I feel like a dork writing this. I know that some people have said in their journals that they feel bad about writing about "bad" feelings. I feel the opposite. I feel like when people read my journal, they roll their eyes and think, That's easy for her to say. Well, it is and it isn't. I still feel bad sometimes. However, I spent enough time feeling bad. I'm not going to do it again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad because you feel bad. But don't sink into it, either. Don't let it become a home. It's easier said than done--I know from experience. But it can be done.
I know that from experience, too. Last year, I had a year of amazing moments. This year, I hope the same happens for all of you.
And if you're still rolling your eyes, well...whatever. I don't really get why you read this, except you know what "they" say. Every cynic's a closet romantic.
Nothing's going to change my world.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 02:38 pm (UTC)Rolling Stones-Dead Flowers
Rolling Stones-Jumpin' Jack Flash
War Pigs-Black Sabbath
Number of the Beast-Iron Maiden
wonder what the fuck's up with all of that?
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 04:00 pm (UTC)Truer words were never spoken.
I try and not let bad feelings sink me either, which is why this post means a lot to me at this moment in time...
no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 07:18 pm (UTC)I had a wonderful conversation with a friend last night who was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. While the stories he told me broke my heart, they also reminded me that life can and does go on and it is what we make it.
In the end, the only things we have left are our memories. And I fully intend to add to that bank in 2004!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 10:26 am (UTC)Some people will see and endure more horrible things than we ever will but they will endure and so can we. As Hemingway said, "The world is a wonderful place and worth fighting for." I don't care if it makes me sound like a naive idealist. I believe it.
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Date: 2004-01-13 11:37 am (UTC)It was weird. The other night I was feeling rather 'down' since I've been dealing with a bad flare up of my chronic fatigue for the past two months.
I haven't spoken with this friend of mine, Andy in a while as I usually forget to turn on my Yahoo messenger (his preferred IM program). Well he found me on AIM and we chatted for a while, which led evenutally to talking about his time as a pilot in 'Nam.
What he went through over there made my heart weep. And it also reminded me that I can get through this and get back to where I want to be. IT may not be easy, but it can be done.
I don't think having a postive outlook makes you naive or an idealist. If anything it makes you more a realist. You recognize that life isn't getting the latest DVD, or the latest fashion, or deciding where to eat for lunch. While all those things can be fun, they are not a 'life'. Actions and experiences are 'life'. And our 'lives' are what matters.
*gives you a hug just 'cause*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 04:35 am (UTC)Totally.
That being said, I can't wait until I'm bitter and cynical and I can find another bitter and cynical person and we can spend the rest of our lives hating everything together. Ah, marital bliss.
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Date: 2004-01-13 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-01-13 07:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 10:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-14 06:22 am (UTC)