wolfpangs | Saint in a clown suit.

I get really annoyed whenever I see headlines going by that say, "Romney says so-and-so" or "Romney met a possum." Because I get tickled and then I realize that they're talking about Mitt Romney and not Hugh Romney (The Superior Romney®). Hugh Romney was in charge of security at Woodstock, where he made the backstage password "I forgot." Mitt Romney looks like he came out of a blister pack. Hugh Romney delighted me in Boulder, CO when he showed up unexpectedly while walking his pet fish. Mitt Romney thought the roof of a car was an appropriate place to transport a dog for twelve hours. Hugh Romney is the namesake of what was my favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's (until it was discontinued). Mitt Romney...totally is not.

But most of all, Hugh Romney is behind the only Presidential candidate I'll ever truly trust: Nobody. Nobody is the candidate for me. Why?

Nobody is really qualified for the presidency. After all, Nobody was president before George Washington. And, no matter what the issue is, it's obvious that Nobody has all the answers!

Who will keep their campaign promises? Nobody! Who will lower your taxes? Nobody! Who will bring peace in our time? Nobody! Who should be running your life? Nobody!

Who should have that much power?

Nobody!