Suicide *is* painless but Chingy isn't.

princessm516 camped outside my door and shoved a microphone in my face, just to get me to answer these questions.

1. Choose your favorites:
a) Clinique or Estee Lauder? Lancome. Oh, wait. Estee Lauder. Oooh, pretty lucite cubes.
b) 7 Jeans or Earl Jeans? Seven for all mankind! Earl doesn't fit right, at least not on my ass.
c) Cupcakes or Cheesecake? Cupcakes with no icing. I have icing issues.
d) Princess Mallory or Mallory Keaton? Dur. Princess Mallory! Mallory Keaton wears sweater vests and dates hairy behemoths.

2. You're Janet Jackson and you just saw Justin Timberlake give his whiny little "wardrobe malfunction" apology and you're hella pissed, so you call him to regulate. What do you say to him?

*Slaaaaaaaap* Oh, wait--that wasn't verbal. I'm actually not the kind of girl who would call someone to tell them off so I can't think of anything good that's not littered with curse words and doesn't end with "just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it *is* a big deal!"

3. You can hang out with either Scarlett Johansson or Paris Hilton for a week, but not both. Who would you choose and why?

Scarlett. I couldn't go out every night.

4. Satan decides that he needs some help in torturing people, so he asks for your advice. You have to pick 5 songs to play on endless repeat to drive people out of their minds. Which 5 awful songs would you choose?

a) "All or Nothing," O-Town--Paint-by-numbers song-writing at its worst.
b) "Tom Sawyer," Rush--I don't care how great you think Neil Peart is.
c) the MASH theme song (tv show, not the movie)--I don't know what it is but no one in my family can stand it. I'm getting agitated just thinking about it
d) "On the Wings of Love," Jeffrey Osborne--Sweet Lord. This song comes on the work Muzak like, once a day--about the same time I start feeling homicidal. It never ends!
e) "Holidae Inn," Chingy--Yarrgh.

5. Choose your ideal Law and Order cast-anyone you want, overlapping of seasons, knock yourself out. Please be advised that the inclusion of Elisabeth Rohm on this list would make me cry, but don't let that sway your final decision.

Elizabeth fucking Rohm? No way. Anyway, my ideal cast has actually already existed.

Police people: Logan, Briscoe, Van Buren
Lawyer types: DA Schiff, Exec. ADA McCoy, ADA Kincaid

I miss you, Claire Kincaid! You too, Schiff!

Oh, and I'd steal B.D. Wong from SVU to be the court psychologist. Skoda's okay but I like Mr. Wong. And Dr. Olivette is just dumb.

Watch Law and Order every time it's on? Yes, please!