[personal profile] wolfpangs
I was reading [livejournal.com profile] sarahofthedead's review of Hostel and I was inspired to list horror movies I have not liked. I like so many, including the bad* ones--especially the bad ones--that I thought it'd be a neat challenge. Credit must also go to [livejournal.com profile] ohthajimpanity, who stoked my love for horror movies by introducing me to tons I'd never heard of.

(*NB: When I say "bad," that usually means said movie is low-budget, features terrible "acting," etc. That kind of thing doesn't stop me from enjoying a movie, just as a fat budget and Oscar winners don't stop me from hating a movie.)

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!

1. Wolf Creek: Oh, like you didn't see that coming. Hateful, repulsive, and the biggest insult of all--boring. Also--Dear Greg McLean, you can make a movie about misogyny without the pretense of a horror movie wrapped around it.

2. Last House on the Left: Suffers from similar problems as Wolf Creek but luckily, Wes Craven went on to make movies I enjoy. The kidnap scenes just come across as something I was never meant to see and watching it left me with an icky, dirty feeling.

3. Jeepers Creepers: Before I saw Wolf Creek, this was the standard for horror movies I hatedhatedhated. It started out okay, if fairly standard and the characters even acknowledged their own stupidity in doing some of the cliche horror movie things, which was nice. Ex:

Trish: *does something stupid*
[livejournal.com profile] ohthajimpanity: Strike two.
Trish: *realizes how stupid that was*
[livejournal.com profile] ohthajimpanity: I'm sorry--I can't take that strike back.

It had potential to be really great, to set itself apart from the pack. Then there was the end. As I mentioned in LostChat last week, when a packed theater realized that they'd been set up to sit for an hour and a half for a pun, I seriously thought there was going to be an incident.

Then there's the nastiness of director Victor Salva himself. I'm not going to get into the ethical debate, aka the Roman Polanski conundrum but...it's like my grandfather always said: Even a stopped clock is wrong most of the time.

4. Ghost Ship: The opening scene was balls-out AWESOME. Then the rest of the movie happened. Zzzzzzzzz.

5. Halloween (Resurrection): What? Why?

6. High Tension: When I went to see The Sixth Sense, I knew there was a twist before I saw it but I didn't know what it was. [But I *had* seen Jacob's Ladder!] After the scene with Donnie Wahlberg, something clicked in my head and it just occurred to me--Bruce is dead. So at the end, when everyone else in the theater was having their big gaspy surprise moment, I was just bored.

Now replace "Sixth Sense" with "High Tension" and the "he's dead" twist with another tiresome dupe. I won't tell you what it is but it's only a notch below "It was all a dream." And that was that.

7. Day of the Animals: [livejournal.com profile] ohthajimpanity let me pick the movie at the video store. I picked the one where Leslie Nielsen takes off his shirt, slaps a woman and wrestles a bear. And it was still boring!

8. Pumpkinhead: Not scary and too boring to be entertaining in a bad way. And all the baddie's name does is inspire me to say, "Oh, who's my widdle Pumpkinhead?" to amuse myself.

9. The Ring, part the second: WATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATER i feel like there's some symbolism in here WATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATER why bother writing a script? WATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATER or even bothering to iron out the logical gaps? WATERWATERWATERWATERWATERdeerdeerdeerWATERWATERWATERWATERWATERWATER

10. Hide and Seek/Godsend: Or, The Incredibly Frightening Tale of Robert DeNiro and the Easy Paycheck. Not traditional horror movies, not traditional good movies.

Now I'm going to make a list of bad horror movies I have liked and work on [livejournal.com profile] ladycakes's meme.

Date: 2006-04-25 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladycakes.livejournal.com
High Tension made me want to throw my teevee out the window. So fucking awful.

Date: 2006-04-25 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] griffin-mill.livejournal.com
I am obsessed with terrible, zero-budget horror movies. I mostly buy them from a blanket at the corner of 43rd and 10th, and the occasional flea market.

Top 5:

1. Criminally Insane
2. Nail Gun Massacre
3. The Pit
4. Bog
5. Sorority House Massacre II

Date: 2006-04-25 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilipodscrill.livejournal.com
ok, the other shoe dropping in Hide & Seek pissed me off almost as much as Identity(please make a good movie, John Cusack. preferably with yr sis in it).

as far as zero-budget horror i love, Don't Look in the Basement, early to mid '70's. set in a mental hospital, shares a limerick with Willy Wonka & the Chocolate factory...

Date: 2006-04-25 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaytethinks.livejournal.com
BEATINGU!!!!

Jeepers Creepers is the only one of those movies I've seen... fortunately.

Date: 2006-04-25 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moveslikegiallo.livejournal.com
I love the opening to Ghost Ship. It's fucking amazing. The rest, though, is pointless. :)

As predicted, I agree with this list. I've not seen a couple of the movies, but the ones I have, yup, agreed.

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