I break bones and laugh.

Hi, everyone! It's so nice to be able to talk again regularly. I love my new computer. It's so nice to be able to do things like watch videos or use flash without it just cutting out for no reason. I even made a new header for Boob Tube! And then I replied to an old text message instead of creating a new message and accidentally txted my dad, "Made a new boob tube header," instead of Tanis. Five seconds later, my phone rang: "You did what?"

We cleaned out a room at my house last week and I found a videotape with the VH1 Legends: Grateful Dead episode on it (along with The Thing That Wouldn't Die--I'm a weirdo). I watched the special and there is this hilarious commercial during it for a Dell desktop. It has a staggering, staggering 6.4gb hard drive and it can be yours for the low, low price of $2399. What a steal!

Everything else is going pretty well for me. I am still enjoying school, although I am ready to be dunzo with ENG 101. French is fun, though. The instructor is going to be out on Tuesday so I was like, "Woohoo, sleeping in" but then a classmate told me that everyone's going to come anyway so we can study for midterms. I would bah! at that but I enjoy class so much that I'm probably going to go.

In other news, if you haven't heard, I'm in the very natal stages of starting my own perfume company. It is a little terrifying but also exciting. I finally feel like I've found my calling. Like, I liked massage okay but there was always a part of it that felt like a real drag. With this, I'm definitely more passionate and inspired. It's become a game for me to assign scents to things. I love to do it when I'm listening to music. Like, Kanye West: lime, cream, leather. Anyway, don't expect anything very soon. I have a name for my company and I've created four collections with note assignments but I still have to figure out the formulas, the most important part. But I am so psyched.

In other perfume news, I'm participating in the bpalanonymous fall swap and that's hard, yo. It seems so easy at first--buy someone presents, yay! But then it was like, "But what do I buy?" and it got really overwhelming. I think I've got a better idea of what I'm going to do but it would be a lot easier if I had someone who knew my person so I could be like, "How's this grab ya?" (Btw, start_0ver is the authorized agent for info on me.) Wednesday, I went to the mall in Decatur, which was a super depressing place, and picked up a couple of things for my person and okay, a couple of things for me. Like these!

So all in all, things are going really well for me. I am even going to get to travel a bit. I'm planning on NYC at the end of the month and southern Florida next month. Sunday, I'm even going to go hang out with Magnet Boy's brother. (And don't worry, you don't have to caution me, as Tanis did, not to bone him.)

Good times.

I have finished my BPAL reviews (see below) and my posting spree is over for the day. Probably.

( Tisiphone )

( Queen of Hearts )

( Vixen )

( Titus Andronicus )

( Golden Priapus )

( Drink Me )

( Madrid )

( French Love )

( Creepy )

Oof, I went running today after a prolonged period of not running and ow. Actually, I walked for a bit on the treadmill first and felt like I was going to die. The room in which we keep the treadmill is hot and stuffy and weird, though, so I bagged on that and went for my path in the woods.

I discovered that the serial killer that lives next door has mown my running path. Like, the entire path. It seems nice, I know, but obviously he only cleared it so he can catch me alone and slaughter me. Ass.

I'm very proud of myself for going out there, though, because like I said, it's a been a while. And I drove the two hours home from Montgomery this morning. I went to the Prom King's house on Friday and got there just in time for football. Most of the games were pretty good but Alabama's? Shriek. Leigh Tiffin? *insert obscene jibbering* The King during the game: "You've like, reached a whole new level of cursing." Seriously, Leigh Tiffin. &(%%*%^!!!!!

I guess I should be easier on him. I imagine he feels bad, missing FOUR TIMES and all. And it's gotta be hard having a dad who made "The Kick" and then having everyone expect you to be just like him. The King: Maybe that was the problem--it's hard to see in his dad's shadow.

After the game, I cheered myself up by watching Leigh's dad Van actually complete a kick. Then my Auburn-loving consort demanded equal time so we had to watch that dreadful "punt, Bama, punt" incident. (No, I'm not linking an explanation.) I found out that the guy who blocked the kick is actually the dad of one of our former classmates. Weird.

Also cheering me up? The BPAL he ordered came in! He ordered me Et Lux Fuit and Chaos Theory III, of course, and my frimps were Madrid, Golden Priapus, Drink Me, and French Love. I never would have ordered ELF but I really dig it and my Chaos Theory is strange but interesting.

After an afternoon of football and slathering myself in scents, we went out for sushi, which was yummy. I'm starting to really love that place we go to in Montgomery. It's not the best food I've ever had but I really like the atmosphere there.

Sunday was a lazy day, filled with more football, Mellow Mushroom and animated programs on Fox. I was too tired to drive home last night so I spent the night again, drove back this morning like I said, and that brings us up to here. Lessee, I last posted Thursday, right? I meant to tell you guys that my wordless excitement then had nothing to do with the plot of that show.

Anyhoo, what else did I leave out? Oh, I interviewed for a job Wednesday. I thought it went well, especially when my prospective boss summed up our choices in the last Presidential election as "a turd sandwich and a big douche." It's that kind of connection that I hope to find in an employer. Overall, I really liked the place, its location, and the whole vibe. Hope I get it.

Now I'm watching Heroes--this new TV season is confusing me!--and working on some other applications. I've also gone live with a real post at a new blog and I'll edit in the link after I confer with my neighbors from the north so look forward to that. Finally, since that thing happened on CSI and the sound went all gloopy because of youknowwhat, here's the song you missed. Byebye now.

BPAL reviews! I had so many to do that I'm going to split them in half. Here, obviously, is the first half--I've got appointments tomorrow [Saturday] morning and then a date in the afternoon so the second half will come on Sunday when I get back from my date.

( Smut )
( Midway )
( Hungry Ghost Moon )
( Queen )
( Karma )

No, I won't massage you with my boobs.

Mean Receptionist left me a myspace comment yesterday to let me know that I had two early appointments today. When I got to work this morning, I was a little surprised that they were both men. Because I work in a traditional full-service day spa, most of my clientele are of the lady persuasion.

The first client was new and he was booked for a half-hour Swedish, which went well. Then there was the second client. One of the owners and Mean Receptionist had talked to him the day before and he'd raised their eyebrows. He'd repeatedly asked the same questions and some of his questions (Do we have a jacuzzi?) led them to believe that something was hinky with him. The other owner thought he might be a cop, testing us to make sure that everything was on the level.

Suffice it to say, I was not thrilled when 10:30 rolled around. And then at 10:30, he wasn't there. We started to relax. We had nearly relaxed ourselves into a mean girl lull and then the door opened. And it was him.

Mean Receptionist gave him his client info card to fill out and I wept. His cell phone rang and he picked up, speaking in Arabic. He returned the card to us and I took him back to my room to go over everything. This part is pretty straightforward. I go over the info on the card and ask about any possible contraindications for massage. We talk about what the client is looking to get out of the massage. With him, I just got my skeeve on.

He wanted to know if I did "French massage." I told him that I didn't, as I don't have a clue what it is. I explained to him the kinds of massage I do. I decided to go with Swedish with him.

During the conversation, I asked him where he was from. He told me his mother was Italian. Yeah, okay. [Later he would tell me that his father is from Jerusalem.] I left him alone to undress then I returned to the spa rooms to cry. I went back and began the massage. He soon realized this was not the kind of massage he was looking for. He told me about getting French massages in Amsterdam. Apparently, it involves picking out a girl from a group of about six and said girl "massaging" the client with her naked body.

Me: ...

I finished the massage and it was medium creepy the whole time but he didn't ever say or do anything over the line. He did ask me if I were Muslim, though. Sorry, pal but this little filly *finger guns* ain't on the market.

I was hanging in reception with the Mean one and a client who was getting her body wrap measurements and after a few minutes, it occurred to me that he'd been in my room alone longer than it would have taken for him to dress. I got skurred. He came out, though, and cancelled his aromabath appointment, which was to follow the massage.

The horror, the horror...

( Read more... )

So that happened...

The BPAL order I placed in April still hasn't shipped yet and I've become desperate with anticipation. I ordered just one bottle! Please send my glorious Midway!

I totally haven't learned my lesson because I ordered a bottle of the Lunacy Limited Edition on Sunday. I couldn't help it! It sounded so good! Offerings of ginger candy, sugar cane, smoky vanilla and rice wine mingle with a ghost’s perfume of white sandalwood, ho wood, ti, white grapefruit, crystalline musk and aloe.

And I'm now getting into my very excited about traveling mode. I had a nice long conversation with my Limey last night and that was quite lovely. "I've missed hearing your voice," he said and...sigh. I love that Teabag. And I think my trip will be quite the adventure. I'm so excited about seeing everyone.

I wish I had more exciting things to talk about but mostly I've just been working and trying to catch up on housework, which I never seem to do. And I'm a total jackass because I still haven't told off_key happy birthday, so happy birthday! I hope it was swell.

And now a present from me to all of you--it's Siri Helene Erland doing Coldplay's "Fix You" on Norwegian Idol. Enjoy!

This "morning" (actually around 7PM but that's my morning):

Salome: Did I get any mail?
My grandmother: You got a card and a small box--it's in my room.
Salome: Woohoo!
G-Money: It's not that big a box.
Salome: Stop trying to slow my roll!

Translation: Eee! My BPAL order came today! For those of you who don't know, BPAL is the abbreviation for Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and it's a company that long story short, makes perfume oil blends. Because there are approximately a billion scents, one may order samples (or in the Lab's language, "imps") from them and that's what I got today--my first order of samples, six in all.

When you order a set of six samples, the Lab usually throws in an extra imp. So that's why there are seven reviews here. NB: These reviews are based solely on how these scents react with my chemistry; your mileage, as expected, may vary.

Me and scent: I have a good instinct for what will work on me and what won't, so that may have influenced the fact that I pretty much liked every scent I ordered. In general, I like foody scents, some fruits, most white flowers, and boozy notes. I dislike scents I'd describe as cloying--plumeria, most roses, melon.

So yes, the rest of this entry is just perfume oil reviews...and some songs I thought went with the scents.

( Jailbait )

( Juke Joint )

( Hollywood Babylon )

( Hellcat )

( Snake Oil )

( Lolita )

( Salome )

Fin.

Happy belated birthday, titilayo!