Why can't I be loved as what I am--
A wolf among wolves...

As I mentioned in my last entry, I have been so freakin' busy. So busy, in fact, that I've been way more stressed out than I have been in a long time. I've been so stressed out that it's manifested itself in physical symptoms--I've been turning into a monster! I might actually be lycanthropizing.

Speaking of, Sadie has begun to growl. This is how it starts.

The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

We are working on organizing our thoughts on Inglourious Basterds for Boob Tube, but in short: I loved it, I have a raging crush on Daniel Brühl, my raging crush on August Diehl continues unabated. The equivalent of porn to me, below:

It's clear as black and white, like a fat panda.

Don't think the birth of a panda at San Diego Zoo went unnoticed by me. I get alerts from PNN, yo. By the way, since the earthquake, 25 have been born to the Wolong pandas (currently chillin' at Ya'an). Ugh, this guy.

Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh, Andy, a C minus in Women's Studies?
President Andrew Shepherd: Yeah, well, that class wasn't about what I thought it was about.

Mainly I've been busy with starting school, adjusting to a new school, and trying to construct a schedule I can live with. I finally settled it with women's studies, an American lit class, an online anthropology class, and my favorite, a class on the history of film. We'll be watching Un Chien Andalou (of course), so I can't wait to share my favorite story about it. Hit it, Ebert: I am fond of his practical approach to matters. Warned that angry mobs might storm the screen at the Paris premiere of "Un Chien Andalou," he filled his pockets with stones to throw at them.

PS: I am in women's studies because I wrote down the wrong room number and went to women's studies instead of the class I was supposed to be in. I ended up liking it more, though, so I switched.

We have to live without sympathy, don't we? We can't do that forever. One can't stay out of doors all the time. One needs to come in from the cold.

I read The Spy Who Came In From the Cold. What a book! I dreaded anyone asking me what it was about because all I would have been able to offer is an um-studded babble of "It's about this spy, um, who comes in from the cold...." I had no idea how it was all going to go until the last chapters and the ending knocked me flat, much like the last four words of 1984.

The Gonstad girls are all alike!

I've had an overload of family experiences this week. Last Saturday, we had a party for Sadie's first birthday. During, my dad decided that he and my uncle should take a look at my car, because I couldn't open the hood. (I hit a guy, okay?) They got the hood open, forced some things back into place (after gleefully realizing they'd "have" to chain my car to my dad's truck to do so), and checked the various fluids and whatnot, which were all low (because I couldn't open the hood!). Then my uncle declared the previous italicized statement, because one of my cousins apparently recently brushed off her need for an oil change.

We also had a memorial service for my paternal grandfather on Thursday. Most of us, I don't think, realized that it would also be used as an opportunity to remember our paternal grandmother as well (she passed over a decade ago). That was bad enough (no one was able to mention her without choking up), but they played a slideshow, which featured my dad and siblings with afros, my cousin Jana and me as FAT BABIES!!! (tm, key lime pie), and then a horrific trip through the 80s. I am glad I am nearly unrecognizable in those.
Great movie or greatest movie?

I am staying home well from school today. I have a lot of movies to watch! Uh, I also have to get some sleep. Back to movies, I saw The Wrestler and it was wonderful--the last scene made me gasp. I am still rolling Lakeview Terrace around in my head.

I still love this fucking President.

Read more... )

Skip to 6:18 and let the love wash over you.

Speaking of, I finally got a chance to listen to Fall Out Boy's Folie a Deux all the way through and yay, I really like it. I was mainly putting it off because I was afraid I wouldn't love it like I loved Infinity on High, but I'm really getting into it, especially "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes" and "[Coffee's for Closers]." I guess I'm a sucker for Chicago boys telling me, "Change will come." And then they're telling me:

The man who would be king goes to the
desert to sing war his dad rehearsed
came back with flags on coffins and said
we won, oh, we won

And I remember again he's gone. He's gone.

Sadie, on the other hand, loves "Viva La Vida." I started singing it to her one day* and she was rapt. I sang it to her the other day when she was having a bottle and every time I would sing, she would stop drinking and stare at me. I tested other songs but they didn't have that reaction. I don't know what she likes about it--maybe she's a Crusades nerd. Maybe it's the "whoa oh oh ohhhhh"s. Here is our second favorite version, courtesy of the kids at PS 22 in NYC:

These kids are killing me!

Now I gotta go--my patch of sidewalk ain't gonna stand on itself!

*Me: Shattered windows and the sound of drums...
My mom: *eyebrow raise*
Me: I don't know a lot of kid-appropriate songs.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

Happy holidays.


Nov. 29th, 2008 08:51 pm
wolfpangs: (bammer)
So today is the Iron Bowl, aka the most wonderful time of the year, aka the day of the Alabama-Auburn game. Now this year has been particularly delightful, because Alabama has gone unbeaten while Auburn...has not. (Their 17-34 loss to West Virginia was particularly schadenfreudelicious.) I continued my this season tradition of making it to Alabama game time and then comatosing through the game, so I had no idea of the outcome when I awoke this evening. My telephone blinked blue. There was a text message.

Now when you receive a text on the Sidekick, it displays the first few words of the message on the text jump screen. This read, "Ber [my sister, who sent the message]: Auburn may have w--." Emotionally, this is just under the equivalent of receiving a text on November 4th that read, "John McCain may have w--." I clicked through to the message, which read in full, "Auburn may have won the past 6 years, but like Barack Obama said, 'It's time for a change!'" YES, WE CA--wait, what? My sister is a Republican and not a politics geek, so she doesn't know all the catchphrases and you know, I don't remember his saying that at all. In fact, that was Tom Dewey's catchphrase, and if you recognize that name, there is probably one reason why. So I went online to puzzle this out.

On election night, I was watching the news coverage but switched to the Daily Show when the news got me too keyed up. Soon, even the Daily Show was too much and I started listening to music, while I had the Daily Show on mute and an electoral map open in a tab. I would occasionally refresh it, but it hadn't really changed in a long time. [This "long time" was probably ten minutes.] All of a sudden, around ten pm, I refreshed it and there was a check mark next to Senator Obama's name. I stared at the screen in confusion. The map hadn't been updated yet with the most recent totals and again, it was ten. I could no longer remember an election night with a bedtime. I turned the TV volume back on, just in time to hear this:

[I still feel like the little boy in glasses and the Home Alone pose at the top of this pic when I see that.]

That required checking a few more thousand sources just to make sure. I didn't require nearly as many for the outcome of the Iron Bowl. It is again, not the same as finding out the outcome of the election, but when I saw it, I couldn't help but exclaim, "Oh!" Among my prayers this year, two have been that my grandmother would live to see her beloved Alabama win again and that she would live to see the election of a President with more than one vowel in his last name (to steal a phrase from Jeffrey Eugenides). President...done. Alabama...oh. It's been an interesting year. I'm an aunt! That still blows my mind. Sadie is just now starting to engage with the world--she's social smiling and she'll watch people/animals around her (she's very bemused by the dogs). She's fascinated when people sing to her. So for her, here's her favorite song right now:

(I do not know what's going on with the Chief in this video--apparently he is reaching a higher plane of existence.)
From dinner Wednesday night:

Any time anyone made a move toward us, like they wanted to take her, I just gave 'em the Heisman.

I've spent the equivalent of Iraq's surplus (ooh, topical) on clothes for her and she shows up a month early and unable to fit into anything at the hospital. She's wearing two white t-shirts (check that giant armhole)--one inverted and worn as shorts. My niece is a hobo.
So I've been shopping like a crazy person in preparation for Sadie--that's my niece, by the way, who is scheduled for street date on 13 September. The shower is in August and since I'm oddly competitive when it comes to gift-giving, I'm getting a head start. I've got the clothes and toys and gear stuff covered, I think but I thought I'd open up the floor for suggestions on the cultural stuff. I was at the bookstore yesterday just looking around and when I saw Reviving Ophelia, it made me think about how there's probably no way to world-proof Sadie but God, I wish there were.

So then I started thinking about how we can give her a solid foundation at least and I have my favorites, of course, but I'd like to hear from you. What books, music, movies, etc. do you think a girl should have? It doesn't have to be necessarily feminist but that is of course welcome. Keep in mind that she's still baking so it'll be a little bit before she'll be able to appreciate the deeper things. We haven't even gotten to The Poky Little Puppy yet...and we will.

As I said in a letter to her that I've been composing mentally, there's just so much out there to see and hear and experience and I want to tell her everything I know. I want to hear what you know, too.

I'll tell you what--whenever you feel like you're alone and there's nobody you can rely on, this is all you need to know.



October 2012



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