*I cannot even begin to understand the trailer for Boondock Saints: Live Free or Huh? Hard.

Isn't Billy Connolly Scottish? Aren't the Saints Oirish? Clifton Collins, Jr., what are you doing in this movie? What, Peter Fonda? Two second Judd Nelson cameo?

*Scanners head explosion*

By the way, he's not in this one (I don't think), but he was in the first one so it's relevant--we used to call our landscaping crew the Willem Dafoes, because they all looked like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.

*My Tumblr is really amusing me right now, because out of all of my online haunts, it is mayhap the clearest picture of my psyche: history junk, Batman, lusting over German actors, dirty rap music, ultraviolence, perfume, pandas, Clint Eastwood westerns...oh, and your mom.

*Dammit. I thought of something a little ago that I needed to travel back in time (and kill Hitler and) for, but I can't remember what it was.

But hey, speaking of Hitler, remember when he and Lenin used to go over to that Jewish family's house and just be cold-chillin', playing chess? Hitler's art teacher captured the magic:

By the way, the inset photo is of the chessboard they supposedly used--it's not like I'm saying, "This is what a chessboard looks like, dumplings." And I watched The Liberation of Auschwitz ("Shot by the Soviet cameraman attached to the 1st Ukrainian front, this documentation, used by as prosecution evidence at the Nuremburg War Crime Trials...") earlier, so I'm really all out of the ha ha's on this subject.

And of course, I'm stuffing all this distraction into my brain to take a braincation away from thinking about the ongoing anniversary of Katrina and its aftermath.

*So anyway, my school makes us all purchase Dining Dollars, even if we're commuter students. On the one hand, this is so annoying because I'm not a babe far from home, unable to feed myself. On the other hand, if Starbucks brings back the Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, which they will if they know what's good for them, having my dining debit card will rule. See, there's a Starbucks in the library at school because stimulation.

*This comment me LOL so hard.

*Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start focusing on my friends page. And myself. And Daniel Brühl. And August Diehl. And other fine Germanic menfolk.
--I am going to Dubai! !!! I can't say why I'm going, but I can say that I'm staying at the Burj Al Arab, the hotel that looks like a big sail. When I'm not watching the goldplated television or lounging on my totally understated bed:

I am going to be riding camels and touring the museums and shopping and skiing indoors at the Mall of the Emirates and--oh hello there, Perfume Souk. Ouds and attars, I'll see you shortly.

--I don't understand you, Jezebel, part 2349: I don't get why the general reaction to Lil Wayne and co.'s song "Every Girl," whose chorus is "I wish I could [have relations of an intimate nature with] every girl in the world" is pearls-clutching, while the general reaction to the Millionaires, whose lyrics include:

Look at that fat slut over there
Her dress is so tight, it's making me stare
She's lickin' on that lollipop with her tongue
So lets just shoot her
With our guns!

is "It's fun!" Yeah, I'm pretty sure neither musical group is that serious about their respective messages and taste is subjective, but still.

--Speaking of things from New Orleans that I love feverishly, the spread of this Brad Pitt For Mayor thing continues to amuse me. I saw Storyville on Headline News this morning!

--And speaking of making it right, if you find yourself in Birmingham and are hungry or want something to do, why not visit the Bottletree? They are lovely people and they put on great shows and have yummy food and oh yeah, they were just totally hosed by City Stages. And for an idea of just how big of a mess City Stages was, see Dennis Pillion for a great postmortem. Finally, here's some excellent advice for putting on a successful festival in Birmingham.
1. Did I ever tell you how I got into massage? It is a very heartwarming story. A friend of mine was thinking about going to school for it and I read her brochure and thought, Well, there's an idea. The end. I've never really felt a calling toward any particular field. I mostly want to dance and hang out. I love American history and the idea of teaching it, but the realities of the American educational system are hard to ignore. I'm not saying that I have eschewed the idea entirely, but just that every time I tell people I'm majoring in history, emphasis American, and they say, "Oh, you're going to teach?"--I'm full. No more for me, thanks--I'm full. However, I think I've found the career that combines many of the things I enjoy, such as putting things right that once went wrong (they're not hiring at the Quantum Leap project, unforch) and raging patriotism (I took the inner nationality quiz on Facebook and I'm secretly an American*). And that is, the Bureau.

Me: I'm going to apply to the Bureau.
My mom: What bureau?
Me: The politburo--I'm going into Russian politics in my time machine.

Or not. I think I'm going to apply to be a G-Lady. I say "think" because I still have to finish school and who knows what number of ideas I'll have by then ("This is too hard. Let's quit and be firemen instead"). As I said, the job--I'll be applying to become a Special Agent--appeals to me on a number of levels, like its insistence on "rigorous obedience to the Constitution" and the chance to use my most unique skill set--the fact that because I'm small and giggly, many people underestimate me. They don't realize how juicy my mind grapes are, such as. Osama bin Laden, I'ma get my mind juice on you! (I am considering entering as a language specialist, specifically Arabic. So if anyone asks, don't tell them about that time at Bible camp.)

2. I've watched some movies lately. I watched S. Darko and...hmm. Maybe if there were no predecessor, I would have liked it better, but as there was a Donnie Darko, it's hard to judge S. Darko on its own merits. The fact that DD creator Richard Kelly had nothing to do with the movie is problematic to say the least. Further, as it's impossible to take in the movie without thinking about the first movie's mythology, the more you think about S. Darko, the less sense it makes. And the ending was just nonsense. Upside: I really liked Daveigh Chase's wardrobe! Sidenote: Is it true that her name is pronounced more like "duvet" ("Duh-Vay" as her wiki entry says) and not like Davey? I don't know how to feel about that.

I also watched the Norwegian horror about Nazi zombies, Død snø. [Below: I don't like this vacation anymore.]

Død snø, which focuses on a group of students on holiday at a ski cabin who inadvertently wake up some nasty spirits, was much better. It's funny, scary, and gross (there's a scene involving something utilized as a rope that I'll bet people will be talking about). It was interesting to me how it was obviously influenced by American movies--as seen in the trailer, one character even quotes, in English, Indiana Jones's "Fortune and glory, kid"--but the way the characters react to certain situations is different, I think, from how they'd react in an American movie. One example: When the random old dude shows up to lecture them on how they're spoiled brats who didn't bother to notice that the territory they're in was a Nazi supply stop, one of the characters can't help but get sarcastic about the possibility of waking up the Nazis who were trapped in an avalanche during their occupation. Random old dude grabs the kid and the rest of his friends suddenly become very interested in their shoes. In an American movie, somebody would have called the old dude an asshole, at least.

That's not to say that the characters are pushovers. It's noteworthy that this is a movie about Norwegians facing off with Nazis--La Résistance gets most of the ink, but Norway had a healthy resistance movement as well. In fact, when they first got their "On the occasion of your being occupied" note from the Third Reich, Norway's response was basically, "Fuck your face." [History pedant: *monocle adjustment* Actually, it was "We will not submit voluntarily; the struggle is already under way."] The progeny of the Norwegian resistance puts up a worthy fight as well. The character Vegard is a notable standout at this--watching him go full survivorman is awesome.

As an aside, imdb lists the following as a goof: One of the zombies...is wearing a white (snow) camouflage jacket. The jacket shows plastic parts (or is completely made out of plastic) which can only be found at modern day jackets. Maybe the zombie took it away from a earlier victim but as all the others wear "original" war gear this is supposed to be a WWII Jacket - and is way too modern. I know that logic is pretty rock-solid, but I don't agree that the jacket is a goof. The jacket doesn't just look a little bit modern--it is totally modern. I was wondering why homes was wearing a hazmat suit when he first walked into frame. He obviously stole that from a victim or the movie's wardrobe department thinks we're morons.

2b. I also watched Fox's Glee and loved it.

3. As I mentioned a few days ago, I went to see Man Man and it was awesome. I'm having trouble finding the right way to describe it (mind grapes are dry), but watching them felt inspirational. When Honus Honus climbed up on something (I couldn't see exactly) and pulled on a lady's beaded top midsong, it was a beautiful thing. I felt like I could go anywhere and do anything. I wanted to go home and paint and write and do. I wanted to go create. I've never felt anything like that when seeing a band before. I've got to see them again.

4. And one last time, thanks again to everyone for their condolences regarding my grandmother. I really am doing okay, but thanks to everyone who just had to make sure.

5. Finally, before I go watch Martyrs so I can feel ways about things with Jess, here is a collection of random things I've been looking at:

MTV's new show Fashion Strip--am I the first to make a "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" joke?

Awkward Family Photos: Oh, man.

It's Lovely! I'll Take It!: Like Cakewrecks, but with real estate listings.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: Few people have the ability to make me laugh like Meg. I tried to read this entry to my mom and sister and couldn't get through it without laughing until I cried.

*“You are highly competitive and highly independent, although you also have an easygoing and spontaneous nature. In order to hide and mitigate just how badly you want to win, you have developed a thick veneer of friendliness — in order to lull your opponents into a false sense of security, yes, but also in order to actually tame your own natural blood lust, and most of the time it even works. Because you are so mobile and ever-changing, your friendships are always in flux, and the people who are your oldest friends may or may not accompany you all the way through life. Probably not.”
In order not to have a looooong entry, here are some nonpersonal life things before I write about my personal life. So...

Things that have made me laugh/things I've found interesting this week:

  • I haven't really gotten into Rifftrax (in which former MST3K cast members and others record MST3Kesque audio tracks to be played while watching movies) as much as one would think, considering my deep and abiding love for MST3K. I don't own most of the movies they've done tracks for, so renting a movie and buying a track and syncing them is just beyond my lazy usually, especially when I can just watch Giant Spider Invasion and be happy. [At this point, I went looking for an example clip and became distracted watching various clips for...some minutes.] However, the upcoming Twilight track? Ohhh, so excited. And I've been taking a look at the rest of the samples, which I've missed and they're just as great. Prisoner of Azkaban:

    Hagrid: That, Ron, is the hippogriff. First thing you want to know about hippogriffs is that they're very proud creatures. Very easily offended.
    Bill: Very quick to compare you to Hitler online.

    See also: "Why is Ron dressed like Mr. Smith at the end of his filibuster?"

  • Canadian political cartoons: "GOD here I am just trying to cook my chickens and AMERICA IS IN THE WINDOW

    NO, GET OUT OF MY WINDOW AMERICA THESE CHICKENS ARE MINE. Stay away from my inter-colonial railway carrots too."

    Ahaha. A) America, you whore. B) My personal favorite is the one listing the negatives of the US, including "radical adventurers" and "Bowie knives." Those are our selling points! Also, like Kate Beaton, one of my favorite things about old political cartoons is the need to label everything.

  • We finished talking about WWII this week.

    What, is that not how it happened? (See here for the rest of Angus McLeod's simple guide to WWII and for the rest of his amazing art.)

  • I don't know what about my Twitter screams, "Add me, conservative fellows!" but it seems to. Maybe it's my glee over these (very historically accurate) tea party things. Just look at the signs! (And then look at my favorite sign.) See also: John Oliver's brilliant piece on the parties. And if you're a conservative (or not), feel free to add me as well.

  • And finally, Pre-durst is my new favorite Tumblr. It's a musical flashback to the days before we did it all for the nookie. As one does.

  • I would like to thank the United States Postal Service for their help in fancifying the package I sent to [livejournal.com profile] zooby yesterday and in particular, the wicked glee with which they helped.

  • No thanks, though, to eBay who removed an auction after I'd both won and paid for it. Their response to my complaint was basically, "Best of luck!" Normally I wouldn't be so bothered by it except for always, but it was for Storyville, the love of my perfume life. I'm not sure why the auction was removed--I can't look at it anymore--but I'm going to guess it was because the seller did not explicitly state she was not affiliated with BPAL. Luckily, the seller ([livejournal.com profile] persephone1976) is not a scammer (and I received my package today), but I like how eBay's response was essentially, "Try finishing the transaction outside eBay," which their rules actually warn against.

  • "Is he on, like, Gossip Girl or something?" —President Obama reacting to the boisterous applause mysteriously awarded to one questioner at a town hall in Los Angeles today (via nymag.com)

    Glee. Pure joy. And in case you couldn't guess, I'm also overjoyed by the new vegetable garden at the White House.

  • Going Galt is still hilarious.

Where the Wild Things Are trailer:

Now I'm going to go HALT (catch up on my Tivo queue, read NY Mag and Jezebel, eat a salad).

  • I've been exceedingly tardy in wishing happy birthdays. So very belated good wishes to [livejournal.com profile] melissa_maples and [livejournal.com profile] ladycakes.

  • If you would like to visualize me using my new spam musubi press, make sure your mental jukebox cues up "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and/or Oates first. Otherwise, you won't get the full effect.

  • Speaking of that song, I cannot wait until the soundtrack for 500 Days of Summer comes out. I do not care about the Stereogum comments about how it's "trying too hard to be indie" or how it's targeted to a certain demographic (and on the latter, hi--welcome to the world)--sometimes I just want to enjoy things.

  • Like Thou Shalt Always Kill, which contains two of my personal truths, Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry and Some people are just nice. And also, Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals.

  • I am in the middle of watching Supernatural season 2 and it is quite excellent. The ending of the HH Holmes episode (the ending of the job, not the actual episode) was delicious justice. Casting Linda Blair (I just finished watching "The Usual Suspects") is also cool. I wish they could have figured out more to do with Alona Tal, though--I love her scenes with Jensen. [See here for his "REO Speedwagon?!"* face.]

  • I think I'm going to do something really wild for spring break, like hole up somewhere and write. However, I'm not sure I'll be able to get away actually, so I may pull an Al Bundy and just set up a fence around my chair.

  • Getting ready to start my Victory Garden. I think I've found the missing ingredient. It's what plants crave.

  • Stephon Marbury Embroils Celtics' Big 3 In Elaborate Shakespearean Intrigue: "Stephon told me that the other two guys hated me because I was the most talented," said Pierce, who said speaking with Marbury was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable. "He said I should beware jealousy because it was 'the green-ey'd monster which doth mock / The meat it feeds on.' But I was like, 'Stephon, first of all, Kevin is a way better player than I am.'

  • Dolphin and tiger share a moment. I love that other dolphin. "I have a ring! A ring! I have a ring! A ri--aw, screw you guys."

  • More fashion show love courtesy of Michelle Collins.

  • I was trying to find more (I am a nerd) Jefferson tees (I am a nerd) and was weirded out by the merchandise attempting to co-opt him as a neocon hero, not to mention the generally uggo designs. The best design I've seen on Zazzle so far is by someone who also sells an "Change Is Also What Germany Was Looking For in 1932" bumper sticker, which...oh, good Lord. I thought I told you to wait in the truck. And is this what font I think it is? Ugh. Oh and by the way.

    So thank you, Dutch Southern for this, which makes it all better. (Most of their shirts are pretty sweet, by the way--the Tarantino Babies are adorable.)

    I need to stop getting myself riled up before I spend all afternoon designing my own shirts. Again.

  • I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me--they were delicious, so sweet and so cold.

*Jo: What?
Dean: REO Speedwagon?!
Jo: Damn right, REO. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean: He sings it from the hair--there's a difference.
First of all, RIP Konrad Dannenberg. Don't know who he is? Well, he's one of the men who put a human being on the moon! See When The Germans, And Rockets, Came to Town, a favorite article of mine, for more details in general and NASA's own Legendary Rocket Pioneer Visits Kennedy. Or you know, any of the articles shooting across various news wires today.

"In an interview with The Associated Press on the 30th anniversary of the first moon landing, Dannenberg said of all the rocket launches, the test launch of the V-2 on Oct. 3, 1942, stood out the most. It soared 53 miles high, just past the 50-mile point where space begins. It was the first rocket to break that barrier."

Can you imagine what that felt like?

How did I learn about Dannenberg's death? From Twitter, of course. My favorite tweet this week (from Quest while at a gentleman's club): "lol @ 6 people outtin me on twitter like this is some gossip girl ep: SPOTTED AT STRIP CLUB W/ 4 HONEY DIPS, DR AFRO LOVE LOL"

I am down to Scumdog Nixon as my last Best Picture nominee to watch, having finished The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the other night. I thought I kind of liked it, but when I wrote a capsule review on Facebook, this came out: Lovely and well-acted, but based on an absurd premise that provokes more questions than it answers. Worst of all, the inclusion of Katrina is not only hamhanded, but cheap and offensive--it's the real curiosity considering Pitt's work with Make It Right Nola.

Um, thumbs down?

Urgh, I hate this story about the chimp in Connecticut, particularly all the "Ooh, what could have caused it? Could have it been Xanax or the Dow or the position of the moon?"

Or was it the fact that THE CHIMP IS A WILD ANIMAL? Have you heard about Frodo, the on-and-off alpha male at Gombe?

Frodo seized the position of alpha male in 1997, taking advantage of his brother Freud when the latter came down with mange. By then, however, his instinct for dominance had already produced a series of violent run-ins with prominent Homo sapiens. In 1988, for example, "Far Side" cartoonist Gary Larson was the target of Frodo's belligerence. Larson walked away from the tussle with only bruises and scratches, but his caricatures of primates as malevolent geniuses gained a sudden authenticity. A year later Frodo jumped on Goodall and thrashed her head so thoroughly that he nearly broke her neck. In the wake of that incident Goodall has consistently refused to enter Frodo's territory without a pair of bodyguards along for protection.

Oh and what happened after those incidents? "...Frodo snatched and killed the child of a Tanzanian park worker." To quote Cracked (on the subject of the dingo, but still), "It took 7,000 years of breeding and training to make your pet dog. This is not your pet dog." And hey, look--that post is where I learned about Frodo in the first place.

In other news, I fulfilled a cheese dream last weekend. I finally got some Rogue River Blue and it is everything that I hoped it could be. I was a little nervous when I was perusing the cheese counter and the guy asked me if I needed help--I didn't want to have that awkward conversation where you have to be like, "Actually...I already have a cheese advisor." [As per our previous talk, I also got Gjetost. As I was raised by Norwegians (on my dad's side), I am charmed by it. As a person who likes cheese, I am unsettled by it. I'm going to have to do some more experimenting with it, maybe try it in some recipes. "The Norwegian game sauce suits excellent game meals as for example reindeer." No, not that one.]

Speaking of food, I have to bounce 'cause it's dinnertime, but first--a conversation I had with my grandmother.

Me: Oh, MIA had her baby.
My grandmother: Oh, I knew that already.

PS: I don't care what anyone says--I am psyched about Inglourious Basterds.
I am trying to watch all the Best Picture nominees before the Oscars. I'm watching The Reader now. I know Kate is getting all the attention for this movie and rightfully so, but so far, it's a scene with Dieter, a classmate of Michael's, that I've found the most moving. Cut for mild spoilers.

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There's so much in this scene, from the frustration when justice slips from our grasp to the anger felt at the realization that authorities are fallible. And of course, the easy judgment from someone who's never had to ask those questions before.

And now my thoughts on this are all derailed, because in lulzbigot news, I googled to doublecheck a line from The Twilight Zone episode "Deaths-head Revisited," from which this entry get its title and found a hilarious discussion about depictions of race on TV over at [I'm not giving any credit to white supremacist websites]. "What really bothers me is the way two of the formerly white Teletubbies have gradually transformed into an obvious black and the other an Asian." WAT.
In all the hype over Britney and Rihanna and Bey last year, it can be forgiven that one didn't wonder "What if Andre 3000 were a woman who wanted to be James Brown but as a robot?" I understand. But now you have no excuse! Ladies and gentlefolk, Janelle Monae's "Many Moons":

I learned about Ms. Monae from the lovely gentleman at Mighty God King. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but if you haven't read his brilliant retort to "nice guys," you must. (Note: By that, we don't mean actually nice guys but those passive-aggressive dillholes who wear their niceness like it entitles them to an avalanche of bitches, you know what I'm sayin', brah?) I also giggled like a fiend at his mashup of pictures of Joe the Plumber and Homer Simpson quotes.

In a few hours, we will inaugurate. Until then, we can practice with our Legos.

Now I gotta go make a frittata or something. Dammit, Cassandra.
Links that have made me laugh recently:

Two Straight Boys Explore the Intricacies of Grind Dancing Together: "This is soooo appropriate right now."

And now... every "Extreme horror" story ever written: Begin to scream.

I love Josh Brolin: "Josh Brahlin," he drawled when he took the podium at the National Board of Review awards ceremony, mimicking host Whoopi Goldberg's mispronunciation of his name. "That's how fucking famous I am... I just whispered in her ear, I said, 'What the fuck is the matter with you?' And she goes, 'I don't know. I'm high.'"

Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling: I think I'm giving you the biggest hug ever.

Fuck You Penguin: I know I've posted this site before, but the funny has dramatically increased in the wake of FUP losing a Weblog Award. A personal favorite at the moment. Relevant to my interests: baby pandas.

7 Badass Animals Presidents Have Kept As Pets: The Brent Spiner lookalike was able to acquire a couple of grizzly bear cubs which he promptly sent to President Jefferson as either a gift or an assassination attempt.

Speaking of the love of my historical life, I've been reading my Christmas presents and I learned something interesting already. I knew that after the British burned down the Library of Congress, Jefferson sold his entire personal library to the federal government below cost to start the restocking (almost 6500 books). What I didn't know is that he was so offended by the destruction that he suggested hiring goons to burn down a few British buildings in retaliation. Wait, did I say "a few"? "Our present enemy will have the sea to herself, while we shall be equally predominant at land, and shall strip her of all her possessions on this continent. She may burn New York, indeed, by her ships and congreve rockets, in which case we must burn the city of London by hired incendiaries, of which her starving manufacturers will furnish abundance." Whoa. He let his rage go, though, out of loyalty to James Madison. And this has been Salomé is a giant history nerd.

Other links I have enjoyed:

HRC on the subject of female empowerment: "If half the world's population remains vulnerable to economic, political, legal and social marginalization, our hope of advancing democracy and prosperity is in serious jeopardy. The United States must be an unequivocal and unwavering voice in support of women's rights in every country, on every continent." I had to smoke a cigarette after watching that.

Speaking of politics, Mr. Stewart has been on point lately. "You didn't need to--you sold ours." Hang on, I need another cigarette. Anyway, like I told Tanis, I really want some lemon cookies right now it feels very Frost/Nixon: "I'd like to give Richard Nixon the trial he never had." Oh, if only. However, I was reminded earlier that we are now in the last 100 hours of GWB, so praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. By the way, don't miss the collection of Jon's impressions of Bush.

PEBO had dinner with George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol AND David Brooks?! Oh, good Lord.

ETA: Chocolate in my peanut butter, pandas in my politics: DC Pandas Celebrate Inauguration With Early Orgy.
Yesterday I ran some errands and my first was a stop at Fred's to pick up a new can opener, since I ruined the old one in a tragic Spam musubi incident. A man was walking in as I was walking out and so he held the door for me. I thanked him and then he said, among other things, "Any time." I know that's just conversation fluff, but it made me smile to think about this guy following me around everywhere just opening doors for me. Umbrella/drink holders are so first half of the aughts.

Later at the grocery store, I was behind a woman and her young son. The boy asked for some candy, but his mom told him that he already had some of whatever it was at home and plus, it would spoil his dinner. As I was putting my stuff on the belt, I noticed a flavor of Ice Cubes gum I hadn't seen (strawberry smoothie), so I got a box of that. Then, that kid tried to sell me out! "Her got candy," he indignantly told his mother. Hmmph!

It took me a while to get out of the house because I was so exhausted from house-cleaning and rearranging Saturday. We brought my grandmother home so we had to move her into her new room and get everything else straightened up, since we now have a million people coming in and out of the house all day. (Approximately 99.9% ask me, "Hurr durr, did I wake you up?" Nah, I always stumble to the door with one eye open, hair looking like I'm the lost member of Kajagoogoo.]

It's great that she's home now, though. She's back to having her own room again. She had a roommate at the nursing home and she was okay, but I know from dorm rooms and stuff that it's nice to have your own space, control the remote, talk about what you want, etc. My mother and her brother were visiting once and she told him about the time that we heard a godawful racket coming from the woods and then the next day, my mom made me go look around to see what I could find. I found a dead bobcat, but it'd obviously had been dead longer than a night. At that point, the roommate chimed in with a "Ugh, can you shut up? My stomach is upset." My mom was like, "Oh, I'm sorry, [roommate's name]--I should've remembered that." *beat* My uncle: "SO, HOW LONG YOU THINK IT'D BEEN DEAD? WERE THERE MAGGOTS ON IT?"

I've been lazying in between studying for finals, mostly by watching Supernatural from the beginning. I also watched the trailer for this Norwegian movie about Nazi zombies that's playing at Sundance. I think the zombies look great and exponentially creepier than regular zombies--speaking of Supernatural, I was like Dean in the "Yellow Fever" episode when I watched the trailer. That was scary!

LOL, what is going on here? Lost rules, [livejournal.com profile] zooby! You just don't know because you don't watch it. Oh, you've seen every season? Oh...well, you're still wrong. Ron Paul '08!

Today is the vote in [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama for Macro of the Year and I'm having trouble picking. I think I may go with Metallicat, though. Speaking of all things chan, I found this embarrassing moment gripping and emotionally moving.

Other things I've been finding funny reading are Something Awful's Comedy Goldmine and the works of Simon Rich. A commenter at nymag.com said that he looks like Ramona Quimby, which is both hilarious and disturbing. Like that squid with elbows film that was released last month. As documented, I love cephalopods, but watching that video, I had this reaction: "Squid with elbows? Oh, cool--I love squids! So let's just pan down and see how faOH GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT IS THAT." The horror. The horror.
Dane Cook is not happy with the poster for his upcoming movie.

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wolfpangs: (fairy)
My favorite Best of Craigslist post is "How To Be A Man 101," in which the anonymous author explains how in lieu of his abusive father, Muhammad Ali taught the author how to be. The author grew up in rural America and he didn't know anything about the Nation of Islam or where Ali was coming from. But he knew his father hated Ali and as he explains, "...I hated my dad. So I decided I loved Muhammad Ali."

The author followed Ali's career through the many highs and through the low point when he was banned from boxing for dodging the draft. In 1970, he was allowed to fight again and a year later, the Supreme Court overturned Ali's conviction for refusing induction. By 1974, he'd fought his way back to a title shot. That shot was against someone whom you likely think of as the friendly guy trying to sell you small kitchen appliances. But that wasn't the case back in '74, as the author explains:

"In 1974, Muhammad Ali fought a real-life, living, breathing boogey man: George Foreman. A giant of a man that had actually crippled other fighters in the ring. He'd decimated both Frazier and Norton in previous fights. He'd hit Frazier so hard he lifted him four feet off the mat. He'd knocked Kenny Norton asleep. He beat him like a rug the year earlier and Norton didn't wake up until he was in his dressing room. As often as the movies may portray that sort of thing, the truth is in professional fighting it's nearly unheard of."

And Ali was at 32, over-the-hill in the world of boxing. From ye olde Wiki: Almost no one, not even Ali's long-time supporter Howard Cosell, gave the former champion a chance of winning. Analysts pointed out that Joe Frazier and Ken Norton had given Ali four tough battles in the ring and won two of them, while Foreman had knocked out both of them in the second round. As a matter of fact, so total was the domination that, in their bout, Foreman had knocked down Frazier an incredible six times in only four minutes and 25 seconds.

None of that seemed to affect him, though, as the anonymous author remembers:

"Foreman could barely put a sentence together back then - he usually just glared at people if he didn't feel like acknowledging him. Ali, on the other hand, had done the impossible over the past 10 years: he had gone from Most Hated Athlete in America to Most Adored HUMAN on the Face of the Earth. And, of course, he reveled in it. He talked about EVERYthing - tooth decay, racism, boxing, music, magic tricks...anything that caught his fancy. Smiling, laughing, giggling, chortling, merry-making his way through the sweltering pre-rainy season of Kinsasha. Not a care in the world.

Of course, that wasn't true, though. Ali was worried."

Since Ali could not possibly overpower Foreman, he planned to employ the Rope-a-dope, a style in which basically, he leaned on the ropes of the ring and hoped he could withstand Foreman's punches until the giant was worn out. "Years later he acknowledged his fear in an interview with George Plimpton. 'I was afraid for my children,' he said, 'I was afraid if maybe Big George broke my spinal column or something, how would I feed my children?' My God, it's astonishing to think of the fear that must have enveloped him for those three months prior to the fight."

Ali withstood nearly eight rounds of pummeling, fighting mostly defensively until there were about thirty seconds left in the round. This is the last minute and change of the eighth round:

!!! G.O.A.T. !!! I highly recommend reading the post, if only to find out what happened when the author finally got to tell Ali what he had meant.

You were. You are.
...I've finally done something with my Tumblr. I'm still figuring things out. Anyone else tumbling?

In other news, thank you all for all the lovely comments on my photo post. I'm going to start scanning in more pictures later today/this evening. After I get back from picking up a dose of Advantage/buying sushi supplies/hoping they have doughnuts at Duchess Bakery. Uh...bye!

Frankenstein Friday doing a Tom Petty cover. I just want to wrap my legs around them in friendship--is that so wrong?

2) I also love this account of volunteering for/meeting Sen. Obama.

...so yes, the words, the great profound words that I utter to the future president is not, "thank you Senator" or "it's an honor to meet you", no, I say, "can I shake your left hand?" to the future President.

3) I checked out a couple of Improv Everywhere's newest missions and my new favorite is Best Game Ever. "For our latest mission, we turned a little league baseball game in Hermosa Beach, California into a major league event." And it was AWESOME. I may or may not have gotten teary.

4) I am studying for my history exam since it's this afternoon and part of it is on Reconstruction (Non US Americans: the period following the Civil War). One of the related documents is a "Letter From a Freedman to His Old Master." Seems that the "Old Master" wrote Mr. Jourdon Anderson, the author of this letter, asking him if he might want to come back. J. Anderson's response is lovely and well-said. You can see Clay Davis for what would have been my response.

5) I have to get back to studying for my history exam since it's this afternoon, but when I get back from that, I'm going to start scanning some more family photos. In the meantime, here's the first one.

On the right, I have no idea. On the left, my grandfather.
NY Magazine on the pranksters Improv Anywhere--you might know them from such pranks as No Pants.

Speaking of No Pants, I still love this photo from this year's mission.

It's M. Night's The Happening and it mostly just irritates the New Republic.

Note to self: Add "Do Not Cockblock" codicil to Living Will.

The Daily Show's Best Cable News Smackdowns

John Adams's screenwriter on rewriting history
wolfpangs: (storyville)
*Recently, I participated in a decant circle (wherein one person buys a bottle or bottles of perfume and decants them into smaller sizes for several people--it's a great way to try without buying a whole bottle) that [livejournal.com profile] honey_cat ran and it was so awesome. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing--I'd never heard of the scents before and had never bought from h_c before, so it was cool to be pleasantly surprised.

First of all, the presentation was ADORABLE. I bought from her Operation: Super Bad circle, for the line Super Bad. Unfortunately, by the time I heard about the circle, most of the slots were taken so I missed out on some scents I would have liked to try (French Model Breakfast!). But I did get:

Bonita Loca – “She’s really quite pretty…if you can get past all that crazy.” Big hair and blue eye shadow never hurt anyone, but watch out for that huge handbag. Sparkly mint topped with an ample slosh of booze over fresh lemon and crisp apple.

Japanese Cowgirl – Konichiwa, Pardner! East embraces West with tart yuzu softened with saddle suede.

Tea & Intrigue – You might not earn much as a waitress in a hookah bar, but what you learn is far more valuable. Velvety black tea, tawny tobacco leaf, a touch of smoke, cooled with cucumber.

I am really happy with the scents I got, though. The only one that doesn't really work for me is Japanese Cowgirl--I'm just not big on citrus.

But back to the presentation! I'd forgotten about this circle so I was confused when I got a package with "Top Secret" written on the outside. The first thing I pulled out was a letter sealed with an envelope reading "For Your Eyes Only," which described the "disguise oils" I was receiving, as well as the baggie of gadgetry (it's a secret). It was fantastic and I must say, quite the improvement over the last circle I was in, ahem. And apparently, she does this regularly.

*In other product rave news, I must indulge in cleaning nerdery and sing the praises of Folex carpet cleaner. As I alluded to when describing my dream car, my car's cupholders have problems keeping the cups from toppling over and out. So, I'd built up a lovely patchwork of Coke stains in the back floorboard. Folex is amazing, yo. It's like some kind of infomercial kind of shit--But don't take just my word for it!

*I bought the People issue with the Jodie Sweetin and her bebe cover for my sister, since she used to love FH and look who's in the baby's room!

That was actually a pretty interesting issue--there was a photo spread from Mary Ellen Mark featuring prom couples and a "Body Watch" piece on Kristen Johnson. I was idling my brain while Joseph Gordon Levitt's version of "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" was playing last week and I started wondering what she was doing nowadays. Well, there's this. I don't even know what to say about that. Except...I want a doughnut.

I've been busy doing critical doughnut research... )

***I would prefer not to think about that photo of Paul Newman Martha Stewart posted, so instead I will watch this clip and contemplate the manner in which I would hit it.

Here's another video about Simon's Cat. Last time he was trying to wake up Simon, now he's trying to get back inside the house.

wolfpangs: (page six lovers)
Things that happen only to me: So, I comment occasionally on a blog. I use a particular username there, as well as a corresponding AIM ID, different than I usually use. Saturday afternoon, I was studying online and doing some chatting when I got an IM to that ID. I had no idea who the person was and the first message was kind of unusual, so I really didn't know what to expect. The person was asking me questions related to my username and I answered them and then that went on to questions about other stuff. And then...I talked to this girl for TWO HOURS. At first, I admit I was kind of weirded out but the fact that I will talk to anyone won out and we just kept talking about all sorts of stuff. She told me about the God particle and I told her about the horror movie trope, the Final Girl. It was such a great conversation--talking to someone that I didn't know and who didn't know me was actually very freeing. Cathartic, actually. I may never talk to her again but we had that moment and it was very positive. Only connect.

Which was very helpful, because last night shorty got low, low, low, low. No particular reason, I guess--just nature and lack of sleep and school-related stress. But it was bad, doldrums stuff. I haven't been that down in a long time. All the terrible news stories (Jajuan Holmes, Lauren Burk, Eve Carson, David Motari...) were working on me and I was feeling apocalyptic. Then, I don't know what happened. The fever, as it were, broke. I picked up a newspaper and read that my former denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, did a 180 on their position on global warming.

Scientific facts aside, I've long believed as Richard Cizik, the policy director for the National Association of Evangelicals, states, "to harm this world by environmental degradation is an offense against God." The fact that Focus on the Family's James Dobson and a few others have tried to muzzle Cizik, doesn't surprise me but I find it dumb all the same. The signers of the new statement aren't talking some radical changes--just true stewardship. How can you claim to care about the culture of life if you have no regard for the very planet that it belongs to? It just doesn't make sense...unless you consider that Dobson, et al, really focus on their agendas--their anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-sex ed agendas. And on that note, I'm really proud of the SBC on this. If they ever change their feelings about choice and about homosexuality, I'd be very pleased to resubmit my letter.*

And then I just took a break and effing relaxed. Zoned out with [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama, my favorite lj community, uploaded a video for a friend to his Facebook community, and hung out with my best dudes forever--my cat, my fish and the dogs. It's a better day. Last night, I became near unhinged when someone told me that it would be but hey, it is and I'm not too proud to admit it.

In other news, somehow I missed that last year, Christian Louboutin and David Lynch joined forces to rock my universe [NSFW]. I don't even know how to process it yet. To quote the most humble man in music, Mr. Kanye West, "I spent a whole 5 minutes looking at this, which is like 5 hours for a normal person!" Speaking of the wisdom of Kanye, I pretty much want to marry this phone. That is just loverly. I'm having a hard time not phrasing my descriptions in the manner of extreme advertising, the currently popular meme (you may have seen the Obama "ad" going around, in which case you know that his font got serifs). We had a lot of fun with that yesterday in [livejournal.com profile] sf_drama [Not safe if you're offended by cursing every other word]. And speaking of things that make me laugh, Asher Sarlin's webcomic Elephantitis of the Mind hasn't been updated since November, but it was all new to me and I read through the whole thing in practically one sitting. (I'm a champion sitter.) I am also topnotch at napping. I am going to nap the hell out of this early evening, right after I geek out (or, continue to geek out) and get my Kingdom of Loathing on.

*I don't know if they use this terminology in other denominations, but when you leave one Southern Baptist church and officially join a new one, they call that moving your letter. I left the denomination, so I withdrew my letter.



October 2012



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