The other day I went to weed my spinach (I'm actually growing it in a flower bed; I don't know if I've made that clear before) when I saw a familiar shell:

Sadly not the silliest thing I've ever done... )

And now to completely shift gears, a collection of Rahmlinks:

I love Fake Rahm Emanuel ("So Fox News claims that the President and First Lady enjoy frequent fisting. And I thought I had a lot of access.") almost as much as real Rahm Emanuel (This is someone who once wrote in Campaign and Elections magazine that "the untainted Republican has not yet been invented" and who two years ago - according to a book about Emanuel ("The Thumpin"' by Naftali Bendavid) - announced to his staff that Republicans are "bad people who deserve a two-by-four upside their heads.")

Time.com's An Enforcer Named Emanuel

People In Washington Need To Get Over Themselves And Their Jackets: "That's right. The only guy in a suit jacket is the one most likely to go tell you to go fuck yourself." Or, in the absence of substance, "pundits" will grasp at straws to find something to criticize. ("Becky, look at her butt.")

Obama's Partisan, Profane Confidant Reins It In

Other stuff:

First, Time.com--you've got to watch your embedded links for tact. I was reading the story Iowa: What Happens When A Town Implodes and this section was jarring, to say the least: "I am very sad and worried," says Irma Lopez, 28, a former Agriprocessors worker who remains in limbo with her young daughter while her husband is back in Guatemala, one of many arrested workers deported in October after serving five months in prison. "I worked since I was 8 years old, and now I feel worthless. I can work, but I'm not allowed to." (See pictures of an Iowa steak fry.)

A ridiculously adorable six-year-old gets the best surprise ever on his birthday. That last line...gah, I think I've got something on my contact. Also heart-stoppingly adorable: The late Jane Burton's kitty photos. Don't even try to resist.
Vicanadious: adj. experienced or realized by Canadians through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of residents of another country.

EX: I had a lot of vicanadious voting help yesterday.
Let's have dinner. Oh, and see some other photos from my life.

Je voudrais manger quelque chose. )
How I spend my free time: Drawing artfully rendered maps of the US (and Canada!).

Also, [livejournal.com profile] gordonzola introduced me to a vocation that sounds fantastic: cheese educator! Somehow I don't think that's how it's really like, though.

Also also, Russell Brand has beaten us all and invented a time machine, judging by his new commercial for the VMAs. It's like the past few years never happened:

wolfpangs: (storyville)
Yesterday my mom told me a story. It was great because a) I'd never heard it before and b) it was about me, which instantly made it a lot more interesting to me. Apparently, when I was about three or four, my mother was sweeping the kitchen one day and I had a toy broom with which I was "helping" to sweep--much like I do today! My dad came home from...work, I guess, and obliviously tracked dirt into the kitchen. For some reason, I bellowed, "WE DON'T DO NASTY IN HERE!" My dad had already made it into the other room and yelled back, "What did she say?" My mother was laughing too hard to answer, especially since she had no idea where I got that phrase or wording. I have no idea. But I encourage you to adopt it as a life motto, as I have. [It serves jointly with my usual motto: "Well, my glove compartment is locked, so are the trunk in the back and I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that." See if I buy from those Girl Scouts again.]

Other things I endorse for life improvement include, for one, Boston terriers. Like this little guy. That is actually probably a French bulldog, but I don't know for sure. However, the Boston Terrier Club of America says: A white Boston Terrier is not a legitimate color for the breed (neither is red or blue...)...WHITE BOSTON TERRIERS ARE NOT RARE ! They are unfortunate mistakes of nature.

This is, of course, a vicious lie. Boston terriers are always awesome. THIS IS FACTUAL INFORMATION.

I just think that's a little over the top and hysterical, akin to the clockwork page that said, "If you are not a watch repairperson you have no rights or sane reason for purchasing a movement." What if I just like clockwork? "Before rocket science was a science watches were considered man’s finest most delicate machines to date." Oh, come on. I hardly think that watches are as ser--"Lower your shields and surrender your watches. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile." Well okay, then. [By the way, it tickles me that Wiki has a list of Fictional Assimilating Races.]

Speaking of rocket science, I will be viewing The Dark Knight next week at the Space and Rocket Center's IMAX theater. If I do not get launched into space, it should be awesome. At 10AM. I wonder if they have some sort of space waffles I can eat while I'm watching. The Man told me to be careful because of the possibility of IMAX theaters showing non-IMAX movies (I thought his caution was a warning about accidental space launches), but thankfully, slashfilm says: "You have to see The Dark Knight on IMAX. This is not a marketing gimmick. Six sequences and most of the establishing shots were filmed using 70mm IMAX cameras. The experience is amazingly vivid, and unlike any superhero movie you have ever seen before. It’s the difference between watching standard and High Definition. If you have the option, you must see this movie in IMAX." Alright already, I got a ticket! Apparently people are getting the message because the site also reports that "advance ticket sales are through the roof, already surpassing $2 million on IMAX sales alone, more than a week prior to opening. Over 100 IMAX shows are already sold out." Awesome.

I am very excited and based on my viewing of the first five minutes, willing to believe any of the hype concerning Mr. Ledger. The clip is crap--a video made of the theater screen--but even so and even with a mask on for most of the duration, Heath is incredible. From the way he's standing when we first see him in the clip to the last glimpse of him, it's glorious.

I have not finished scanning the next batch of family photos yet--school drama and freak but brief illness got in the way. The school drama refers to...oh, I can't get into this without being overcome with petty rage. Long story short, couldn't take test arrrgh. Protip, school: Some people may find posting information like the fact that your testing center closes to testing an hour before its posted closing time somewhat relevant. Aaaaargh. Anyway, I will try to get some done later today in between napping hopefully and getting some housework done before I go see Chris Rock.

Back to good stuff: Next year, I'll be going on an Amazon river cruise. I hate using the word "cruise," since that makes people think of like, Carnival and this is no cruiseship. We're talking a clipper here. No, not like the Cutty Sark. Basically, around 30 passengers not including crew. I don't remember how I even got the idea. I was reading something on Frommer's site and caught a reference to the trips and after reading about it, I was hooked. And that's before I found out about the peanut butter and jelly water and the pink dolphins!

See, one of the big tourist attractions in that part of the world is the "Meeting of the Waters," where the River Solimoes meets the Rio Negro to join in holy matrimony form the Amazon. The smaller rivers are noticeably different in color and so when they meet, they flow beside each other in two different colors for a bit before mixing. I dunno--to me it looks like peanut butter and jelly:



Mmm, sandwich. Then, I heard about the botos, the Amazon's pink dolphins or as they're also known, encantado, for "enchanted one." As a girly girl who may or may not have owned at least one Lisa Frank product, I was immediately interested. Then it got even better. The dolphins come with their own legend. Sy Montgomery, who has written two books about the encantados, one for children and one for adults, wrote, "They say the boto can turn into a person, that it shows up at fiestas to seduce men and women. They say you must be careful, or it will take you away forever to the Encante, the enchanted city beneath the water." She might as well have written, "DING DING DING! STUFF SALOME WILL LIKE! DING DING DING!" First, there is the Amazon river trip. Then you throw in an environmental novelty. And if that weren't enough, there are also magical dolphins? Who are pink?! I may need a lie-down. The "facts" about the encantados just kept getting better and better. Field Guide to Monsters of the World*, in noting a detail that fills me with glee, says, "Their transformation is never fully complete, however: an encantado will always have a bald spot on the top of its head where its dolphin blowhole remains. For this reason, the encantado always keeps his head covered, usually with a broad-brimmed straw hat." Absolute joy.

I think I'm going to around the end of next May. That should give me enough time to get together the necessary papers (Brazilian visa and such) and get the recommended vaccinations. Yellow fever--catch it.

"Each person who encounters an Encantado comes away from the encounter speaking a different truth, informed by dreams and ghosts and the hot, whispered breath of rain on the river. For here in the Amazon, where unfathomable tragedies collide with unquenchable desires, the most preposterous of impossibilities come true."

And if my fulfilled impossibilities don't include being knocked up by a dolphin, I will be okay with that.

*Which should really start updating again, because it's like a grown-up World Book.
wolfpangs: (made a swiveling chair--now I nap)
I'm watching episode 2 of the John Adams miniseries and yes still, omgsogood. So while I'm doing that and discussing the differences between the Virginia Plan and the New Jersey Plan for my actual homework, here's one of my favorite scenes. It's Franklin and Adams going over a newly written piece my boyfriend Jefferson has just produced, in which the Continental Congress calls for the sovereignty of the American colonies. You know, it's like a declaration of independence. I love how cranky Jefferson is over any editorial changes.



"Well, it's what I believe." *big red cartoon hearts*
This. If I were forced at gunpoint to pick a lyric snippet from Dylan to describe the feeling I had when I read that, I would pick:

And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul

And then I'd say, "This is kind of a weird thing to force people to do at gunpoint, don't ya think?" Then I'd say, "Actually, I would cosign any entry on this blog...spot." Yes. That's what I'd do.
wolfpangs: (page six lovers)
I knew someone had tagged me for a meme but it got lost as I drowned in schoolwork. Now I'm on my break and I found it so here we go.

I was tagged by [livejournal.com profile] johnny_stiletto.

1. I tag: [livejournal.com profile] princessdidi, [livejournal.com profile] gannet_guts, [livejournal.com profile] baggylettuce, [livejournal.com profile] whitewatergirl, [livejournal.com profile] stoof, [livejournal.com profile] commieprincess, [livejournal.com profile] kaytethinks and [livejournal.com profile] ladycakes.

2. What is your most guilty pleasure?
Oh, Lord. I've revealed so many secrets in this journal alone that it's hard to think of more...that I'd be willing to reveal. I don't really feel that guilty about most stuff. These are more like dorky pleasures. Like...my tendency to make up songs about anything and everything. It started as a way to pass time during menial tasks and/or waiting and I've just kept doing it. There's no telling what I'll be inspired to sing about in any given day but usually, I make up at least one new song about the dogs every day. These are not grand compositions, mind you--just silly little things that I sing to them. The other one I do frequently is the song I sing when I'm waiting for my dad to pick up on his cell. It's called "Daddy Mobile" and that's as much as I'm going to share.

I also really, really love blind items. I found a goldmine of them during Hell Week and I literally groaned because it was the worst thing for me to see when I was supposed to be studying and writing papers.

3. Have you ever seen someone die?
Not in real life, as far as I know. ("Not irl," meaning I've seen stuff like the Budd Dwyer footage. NB: If you're unfamiliar with him and/or sensitive, I would advise against googling for further information since it may return disturbing images on the main results page. His wiki page is pretty tame, though. Long story short, he committed suicide on live TV.)

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Only occasionally. I know I may look indecisive from the outside looking in, but I just try to make the best possible choices for myself at any given time and sometimes, the times they are a-changing.

5. What was the last book you read for pleasure and would you recommend it?
It's been so long since I've read a book for fun that I had to look it up on allconsuming to see what it was. And it was Twilight! I'd recommend it if you like YA and keep in mind that it's very Mary Sue.

(I'll be writing fanfic under the name shimmerskin.)

6. Favourite Sandwich and side.
Probably the Steakhouse Dip from Quizno's with lots of horseradish. I would prefer pasta salad on the side but they don't have that so I usually get jalapeno chips. And then brush my teeth.

7. If a person you like doesn't feel the same way, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
Can I see other people while I wait? If so, yes. If not, lol no.

8. What is your dream car?
A vehicle that looks like a 1971 Pontiac GTO Judge but with a voice-activated communications and entertainment system inside, as well as an engine that runs on a sustainable, nonpolluting energy source. And cupholders that are deep enough so that my Dr Pepper doesn't fling itself into the back floorboard every time I make a sharp turn, FORD.

Ooh and also, a removeable piece in the driver's headrest so I can wear a ponytail without having to drape it over the headrest so I can sit comfortably.

Or all of that, but with a 1970 Dodge Challenger body (white only, plz).

9. Is there anything that made you unhappy recently?
Besides the obvious family stuff, no, although this was a little disturbing:

OMG cliffhanger )

Bake it at 300 degrees for an hour and that's how you make banana bread.
wolfpangs: (privacy)
An hour ago, I went to the nearest gas station to get some pain medication--yes, my headache was so bad that I left my office--and all they had was Motrin. Ugh. I was like, "They still make that?" Not to mention ibuprofen doesn't do much for me. I guess it could have been worse--it could have been just naproxen (Aleve). In terms of their effectiveness on me, ranked from maximum to least, headache treatments look like this:

*Acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffeine (I love you, Excedrin)
*acetaminophen
*ibuprofen
*aspirin
*quiet time/nap/etc
*wishing really hard
*naproxen

After all this presidential campaigning, though, I need some Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches.

I can't conceive of a movie poster or image or thing produced by humans that could be less appealing than this. It looks a neo-noirish version of Peter Griffin. Ugh. That gives me the ickles.

Tomorrow I go back to school. Oh yeah, I've been on spring break this past week. And what a rocking good time it was, amirite? But back to school--my American history class scares me. I've gotten used to the way he lectures so I'm not trying to slit my wrists with the edge of my desk anymore but I may start trying again if he keeps asking questions. Most of the time he does straight lecture but occasionally he'll ask us questions about current events or history and I am the only one who ever answers. Last class, he asked a long series of questions--what Presidents were generals, what Presidents had military service, were they good Presidents, etc--and I answered all but one. (Another student volunteered Washington as a President who'd been a general while I was mentally searching my Presidential blind spot, the period between Lincoln and the start of the 20th century.) It's really kind of depressing, especially the fact that these people are legal to vote. It's not that I think there should be some sort of test pre-voting (and unlike my classmates, I know the negative associations of voter tests) but it always surprises me how some people move through the world completely oblivious to everything.

In other news, I sent a package to [livejournal.com profile] monooka yesterday and I'm so excited. Not like, "Woo, go me--I sent a present!" but it's so specific--a specific reminder of a very...very night, that is--that I can't wait for her to get it. I'm excited to tell you all what it is but in a few days, so we don't ruin the surprise.

Now if you'll permit, I'm going to say, "Scuse me" to this elephant in the room and try to focus on positive thoughts today. Happy Easter!
My favorite LJ post right now...is a tie between:

Early rap/hip-hop/roller-disco flyers, NYC, 1979-1983--I am very into everything--music, documentaries, etc.--late 70s-early 80s lately, especially if it has to do with hip hop culture. Harlem World has a walk through metal detector, y'all!

AND

Complete scans of Madonna's SEX--Obviously NSFW and obviously the best thing evar. She wrote a blurb about how her goosh is the "temple of learning", people! Also, I don't think he's in the book but that longhaired boy in the "Deeper and Deeper" video? Yes, I totally would.
wolfpangs: (froggy)
I'm watching The Last King of Scotland right now and I think I know how I want to decorate my apartment.

Welcome to my humble abode: )
And because I'm sleepy and still feeling memey, 10 random facts about me.

1. Salome can get Blackjack with just one card.
2. When you play Monopoly with Salome, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
3. There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Salome.
4. Salome can hit you so hard that she can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What the hell was that?"
5. Salome can speak braille.
6. Salome uses Tabasco sauce instead of Visine.
7. Salome starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. She injects it directly into her neck with a syringe.
8. When Salome does division, there are no remainders.
9. Most boots are made for walkin'. Salome's boots ain't that merciful.
10. If you spell Salome wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Salome?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Now you know.
wolfpangs: (Weir and Barlow)
I get really annoyed whenever I see headlines going by that say, "Romney says so-and-so" or "Romney met a possum." Because I get tickled and then I realize that they're talking about Mitt Romney and not Hugh Romney (The Superior Romney®). Hugh Romney was in charge of security at Woodstock, where he made the backstage password "I forgot." Mitt Romney looks like he came out of a blister pack. Hugh Romney delighted me in Boulder, CO when he showed up unexpectedly while walking his pet fish. Mitt Romney thought the roof of a car was an appropriate place to transport a dog for twelve hours. Hugh Romney is the namesake of what was my favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's (until it was discontinued). Mitt Romney...totally is not.

But most of all, Hugh Romney is behind the only Presidential candidate I'll ever truly trust: Nobody. Nobody is the candidate for me. Why?

Nobody is really qualified for the presidency. After all, Nobody was president before George Washington. And, no matter what the issue is, it's obvious that Nobody has all the answers!

Who will keep their campaign promises? Nobody! Who will lower your taxes? Nobody! Who will bring peace in our time? Nobody! Who should be running your life? Nobody!

Who should have that much power?

Nobody!



Shhh, he's speaking.

Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Oh and also, Kyle Gallner will appear on Monday night's episode of The Closer. He will be playing his classic Troubled Kid Who Is Possibly A Murderer part.
Hahahaahaha.

[livejournal.com profile] zooby gave me her new cell phone number this morning. I sent a text this morning basically asking, "Did this work?" because our texts haven't been going through the LJ service. Zooby sent me a text afterward and I went on my merry way.

Then, I got a message back from the number I'd put in saying "?" I responded, "Question mark!" And then I got "Who is this?" I thought Zoob was smoking crack (an easy assumption), so I replied, "This is your balls." Then I realized I put the number in wrong.

WHATEVA WHATEVA! I HAVE DYSCALCULIA, U DUN NO ME!
In retrospect, I'm surprised that it never occurred to me that it was weird that Jon was the only member of New Kids on the Block with a named girlfriend. I dunno--I just never drew the appropriate conclusion.

Deep thoughts inspired by this post.
So I didn't get the job I was hoping for. Oh, well.

But I did get my Sidekick! I am pleased to introduce Thor. His number is 251.229.0301--I don't know why I got a number with a Mobile area code (read: way at the other end of the state) but it's cool. I love it so much!

You can read my hiplog here.

I had a minor freakout this weekend about leaving my job but now I feel good about it again. Like I said before, I will. I will do whatever I want to do. I am not afraid anymore.

I talked to my boyfriend about San Francisco. I told him that I knew he could't move there atm--just bought a house--and if he wanted to break up with me, I understood but it's something I need to do, even if only for a little while. Surprisingly, he was okay with this. I mean, he'll feel how he feels obvs but he didn't want to break up.

I feel a tinge of shame, as if I should feel guilty about this, as if I'm being selfish. But then I think, I haven't been selfish enough. For too long, I've been thinking, I can't do this because I have to do that, or Who will do that if I leave to do this? and...enough. I must live my life, if only because there is no one else to do it for me.

Now that sounds a little too dramatic so let's lighten up, shall we? I am basking in the glory of not having to do anything for a short time, as I'm sure I'll have plenty to do shortly--if I don't find a regular massage job within two weeks, I'm taking the first dumb job that comes along. Today I'm:

*relaxing with my beloved City Confidential (please repeat the Knoxville episode soon!), *thinking about making cookies--have to do something with this bag of Nestle Chocolatier dark chocolate chunks...pumpkin chocolate chip?
*job-hunting


*Feeling okay. Okay?
Here are some of the first pictures from the filming of the HDM movie. Words can't express my glee. I have a tattoo inspired by this trilogy, people!

Unless th' Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds... )

So psyched!
I just found this picture online (lightened by me)...

LOLZ )
Today's highs:

1) FUNNELCAKE!!!
2) AND FRIED OREOS!!!
3) Tony Stewart's wreck was AWESOME. Made more awesome by the fact that he walked away without a scratch and managed to avoid nearly every other car as he was spinning through the air.
4) Show last night was great. Thanks again to Jake, Daniel and Nate for being so cool.
5) This moment last night--

Some drunk guy: Does anyone need a queen-size mattress and box spring set that's only been slept on by a woman who smells real good?
Daniel: How did you know?

Last night's lows:

1) A guy tried to convince me to go into the bathroom with him. [For Birminghamians only: The bathroom at the Nick.] [For the rest of you: I don't even like to use the bathroom for the usual purpose much less whatever he was trying to do.]
2) When I decided to leave last night, I couldn't find my car and had a minor freakout that it had been towed (yes, at 3am).
a. It was in a different place entirely.
b. It was always in sight of the front entrance to the Nick.

EDIT: HAHA.

"Kyle Busch would like to apologize to Casey Mears, but his NASCAR Nextel Cup competitor hasn't returned his phone calls."

Good for you, Casey! And why hasn't this douche (Kyle) gotten his comeuppance yet? I do agree with the comment that he'll be a great driver once he grows up. He'll probably still look like Crackle and/or Pop, though.
---

Some people wonder what I like about Nascar, because I don't fit the image of "Nascar fan" that they have in their heads. So:

1) It's uniquely southern. From the drivers' accents to its rumored roots in moonshine bootlegging, it feels like home.
2) It requires a level of skill that goes beyond most sports--not only do you have your body to deal with, you have to be in control of a monstrous piece of machinery (and in restrictor-plate racing, you have to work well with others--others who are traveling incredibly close to you).
3) Cars go real fast (and sometimes wreck spectacularly!).
4) The stories of cheating. Nascar drivers and their pit crews have pushed the rules to the limit in every way possible over the years and I love the ingenuity.

EDIT again: Who the shit calls during the final lap?! Congrats, Martin Truex, Jr.!

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